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There's life after 40

Life picks up once you hit 40. You can live on your own terms and don't let any one tell you otherwise, says Suhasini. SUBHA J RAO reports

AGEING CAN BE FUN Suhasini Photo: K. Ananthan

When does life for an Indian woman begin? "At 40," says actress-director Suhasini Maniratnam.

But, society will like all to believe that when they have an expanding waistline and a receding hairline, it is time to start living a retired life.

"Middle age in the UK is above 50; in the US, 60 is young. But in India middle age starts the day after you get married. Because, that is where your age first shows — in your middle. That is when a narrow waist and broad mind begin to trade places," she told an audience of women at a conference organised by the Inner Wheel District 320 as part of Symphony 2006, where she was conferred with the Outstanding Achiever Award.

Top of the world

Talking about how to live middle age to the brim, Suhasini, looking a million bucks at 44, rues that Indian women like to wear simplicity on their sleeves, not in the mind.

"We are worried about being called names by others. After 40, you don't have to care a damn for what others feel." Just a few changes in life can make you happier than you ever were. "I am happier than I was at 20. The world is more beautiful, more friendly ... enjoy that."

Roses all the way

Talking about the brighter side of a woman turning 40 from a man's point of view, she says: "Women over 40 are dignified, they don't scream. They are generous with praise, often undeserved. They get psychic - you never have to confess, and they are forthright and honest."

There is a downside to it too. "For one, you won't appeal to kidnappers. And, when they do abduct you, you are the first to be released. There is nothing left in life to learn the hard way and this is the age when you can live without sex, but not your glasses."

More importantly, your secrets are very safe with your friends; they can't remember them, she told an audience of giggling 40 somethings, most of whom were comfortably plump after years of taking themselves lightly.

Working out

"Exercise is so important. Take the time out for it. How many TV serials can you not miss?" Exercising the mind and body is better than going in for an expensive liposuction. Try yoga. Only exercise can sort out all the aches that announce the onset of 40."

"Fulfil your emotional needs by reading poetry, solving puzzles, Sudoku, learning a new language or taking up social causes."

After 40, the meaning of happiness changes. It does not come from just feeling good; making someone else happy matters too.

Aiding this effort is a personal journal. "Write anything in it. You will learn more about yourself. You can also maintain a dream journal. Write down all the dreams that you had first thing in the morning."

Buddies for life

Friendship can also be a good solution to tackle the boredom that sets in after 40. "Be interesting to younger people. I am still acting and am best friends with the younger actors. They message me every morning and night, forgetting even their boyfriends," she quips. "A cardinal rule is to never be jealous of younger people's success. Now, having all this information, you are raring to answer all the questions. The trouble is, no one wants to ask you any," she concludes.

Women of substance

SWEET SUCCESS Rajshree Pathy & Rekha Shetty photos: k. ananthan

Suhasini needs little introduction. Rajshree Pathy started a sugar mill in a backward region and made a success of it and Rekha Shetty is a past rotary district governor from Chennai. They are the real-life Power Puff girls.

When they got talking on women power at Symphony 2006, the audience witnessed a crackling session. Suhasini spoke about her rise to power from being a lass from Paramakudi who spoke rusty English to a sophisticate who speaks French with ease.

Rajshree observed that rural women have always been working. She said that when we speak about working women, it is only in the urban context, while Rekha came up with interesting posers on what power meant.

The actress-director spoke about how success came her way despite her not compromising on her principles, be it mouthing derogatory dialogues or wearing revealing outfits. And, how she revelled in being average.

Rajshree said women no longer had to be `male bashers' to get attention. "Being a woman is a challenge. Unless we get an opportunity to nurture, we can never feel fulfilled."

Maintaining a healthy work/life balance was important. "When I walk into office, I see some faces sad and others happy. Family pressures take a toll on women. But after 40, they need to take care of their health."

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