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Get real

Why do we greet people meaninglessly? asks N. Ramjee

It sometimes takes a child to make us see sense. My seven-year-old son loves school and on the days that I pick him in the evening, I always ask him how he is doing. Nine times out of ten, he answers: "Hi! Papa. I'm brilliant!"

It is hard not to smile at such an open exhibition of enthusiasm.

Like most adults, it took a while to dawn on me that I could learn something from a child. Recently, when a colleague greeted me with a routine, "Hello! How are you?" I nearly said "Fine" or "not too bad", before I thought of my smiling son.

My "I'm brilliant, thank you. How are you?" response confused her for a minute before she beamed. "You know! I'm feeling pretty brilliant too!" she said. The rest of the day went great.

My son's enthusiasm taught me a big lesson. Why do we go through life saying and hearing conditioned responses that mean really absolutely nothing? It is only when we do the unexpected that real communication occurs.

What do `fine', `okay', `not too bad', `all right', `pretty good' and all the other non-responses really mean? Nothing.

Because the question they answer usually means less than nothing. And, the person asking them is not even looking at you or listening to your equally meaningless answer.

Yet, by hijacking that automatic question and giving a completely unexpected and exciting answer we can take control of a conversation and force the other person to think positively of us.

SOUND OFF! is a weekly space for you to rant, applaud or talk about anything on your mind.

Write to cbemetro@thehindu.co.in or snail mail Sound Off! Metroplus, The Hindu, 19 & 20, ATT Colony, Coimbatore - 641018, telling us a little about yourself (with address and phone number), and you may get a chance to sound off!

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