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For Promila and Prabodh Badhwar, respecting each other's individuality is the key to their three-decade-old marriage

ALL FOR LOVE Promila and Prabodh Badhwar say they look up to each other, always

On the sixth of March this year, Promila and Prabodh Badhwar will round up the 36th year of their marriage. Promila, a native of Ludhiana, and Prabodh, who was a Delhi-based science graduate and Germany-returned businessman when they got married, were poles apart in nature, attitude, cultural leanings and of course, temperament. Promila says despite living in a rich, conservative and too protective a family, she was outgoing unlike her newfound partner, Prabodh, who was a confirmed introvert and a workaholic.

And yet, they turned their arranged marriage, solemnised through the manager of the then established Moga Cotton Mill in Ludhiana owned by Promila's father, into a life of love, care and compassion. "Love that didn't grow into an obsession or possessiveness but did leave lots of scope for individual space for each other." And this space, today, both agree, has made their marriage a great success. They so proudly share that they are still complimented by their counterparts as one of the most lovey-dovey couples.

Prabodh lets out the secret, "It is a kind of telepathy between us. Whenever I need something, I find it there, as my wife knows as soon as it enters my mind." Promila who still turns pink recalling Prabodh's sending of flowers and perfumes to her soon after their engagement, which was unheard of in a small town in those days, echoes, "He is my strength. I know exactly what he wants and when. We are the best of friends despite having different tastes and temperaments."

Helping hand

Recalling the early days of matrimony, she says, "In the first two years of our marriage, I accepted everything silently. Take for instance, a very organised and regimented life practiced and preached by my very caring father-in-law. Whether it was having a meal on time or always wearing a sari, taking care of Prabodh's needs or pursuing my own interests within those defined guidelines, I took two years to settle down. Prabodh never had to ask for anything, as I was very organised. From my kitchen to his cupboard, I would keep everything in place, on time." Her husband, "a liberal by temperament," would never object to her socialising, following her creative pursuits like gift-wrapping, flower arrangement, developing the kitchen garden, etc. for a profession. "We never interfered in each other's life beyond a point. For instance, while I love to go for a walk, he loves staying at home and reading, we never tried to change each other to please ourselves. I owe him a lot for he gave me a lot of exposure in how to live life in a big city, something which I wasn't aware of being a small towner," she says.

Prabodh remarks so pertinently, "If you encourage each others' strong points and stop brooding over the weaker ones, your relationship works for life. Men should share everyday household responsibilities, from kitchen chores to garden, without any ego. Respect for each others' individuality is a must."

Now the couple, residents of M-Block, Greater Kailash Part-I, celebrate their Valentine's Day with their grand children. "But for us, each day is a Valentine's Day. Roz aik doosre ko dekhte hi chehere par raunaq aa jati hai," says a beaming Prabodh, even as Promila smiles next to him almost to the extent of blushing.

RANA SIDDIQUI

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