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`Fight abuse'

V. Vijayalakshmi asks women to speak up against domestic violence

V. Vijayalakshmi

Gender roles are clearly defined even in childhood. For instance, when a boy falls from a swing in a park and weeps, haven't you heard his parents admonishing him, "Don't cry like a girl"?

If a woman opposes the opinion of her husband or in-laws, the elders in the house tell the husband, "Be a man, put her in her place." Gender roles have a part to play in domestic violence and women have to raise their voice against it.

Violence is not just physical but also psychological. For instance, if a man constantly tells his wife she is no good, she will begin to believe that. Sometimes, violence is as subtle as silence. But whatever be the form, it breaks a person.

Why doesn't a woman resist? For, if she speaks up, her family will disown her. Society will speak ill of her and her family. And then there are the children. For their well-being, they keep up the façade of marriage. Do not presume that domestic violence happens only in economically weaker sections. Violence against women cuts across all strata. Yes, we do take vows to stay together as a couple "till death do us part", but with a violent spouse we die a little everyday. So, why not break away? Family and friends should be supportive. Perhaps, children will be happier and healthier seeing their parents happy. Women should have an identity of their own. Girls should be taught to be independent. Women should not hesitate to seek help. Family courts are women-friendly. They offer women help and counselling. There are NGOs too that work for the cause of abused women. Women have to fight abuse. They have to say "enough is enough."

As told to ASHA MENON

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