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When girls hang out

There's nothing like a lunch date with a friend to raise your spirits

The morning started off like any other for Aishwarya, mother of a 10-year-old, and Sneha, an ad executive. A chance phone call changed all that. The two women, friends from college, decided to meet for lunch. By themselves.

For the onlooker, the giggly 30-somethings in the restaurant, must have looked plain immature. But the duo could not care less. Meeting up after a five-year gap, they were in great spirits. And, it showed in the hilarious exchanges about college life and heartthrob professors. And, poignant moments when long-lost friends were remembered, and jinxed love stories recalled.

In between, they helped themselves to a sumptuous meal, without having to bother about kids spilling food, or guests replenishing their plates. Best of all, they had not cooked the meal.

At the end of the two-hour rendezvous, both went back beaming.

"I thought it would be just another lunch date ... I was so wrong. It was rejuvenating; visiting the past and spending some time there," recounts Aishwarya. And, colleagues of the normally serious-faced Sneha wondered where her 100-watt smile came from.

Women who regularly catch up with old friends during lunch say these sessions keep them going and provide the only change in a normally boring life.

Even if one is in a great marriage and has an understanding family and children who listen, there are still some things that you can discuss only with another woman.

The conversations need not even be intellectually stimulating. In fact, the less sense it makes, the better. "Tell me, how many of us spoke serious stuff in college?" asks Mitali, a banker.

Other than the fact that such meeting helps kindle old memories and keep relationships alive, most look forward to it because it means one can let down one's hair, be irreverent and have a carefree afternoon.

Also, the kinds of things you discuss with an old friend are so different from what you normally share at home or with colleagues. It could be the funky earring worn by the girl sitting at the next table or a memory of the disaster your first baking session turned out to be.

Latha, a writer, agrees. "Such a meeting frees you from your roles. Here, you can be free and equal. You can speak freely."

Such meetings need not even take place over a meal. A game of cards will do for this group of grandmothers, who have been meeting regularly every afternoon for the past 10 years. "My grandmother is normally a serious person who won't smile easily. But once her friends and cousins come in for their daily rummy sessions, there is unbridled laughter," recalls Kanchana.

Octogenarian Lakshmi's granddaughter Menaka believes it is these card sessions with her cronies that keep her grandmother in good spirits.

SUBHA J RAO

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