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That heavy burden of weight
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To cut the flab or not. That is not the question. In fact, there is no question about it at all in a world obsessed with anorexic celebs and the pressure to look good, finds BHUMIKA K.
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Photo: Reuters
WEIGHTY MATTERS Women are judged and pressured into conformity
FAT. The word is small. But the hysteria around it is definitely BIG, you'll agree. Not just in the individual's psyche, but getting more interwoven into our entire culture itself that shouts "fat and unhappy" at women who want to keep their curves. Life banks heavily on one angle: look down at yourself. You either have a potbelly you retch over or you have a fairly flat stomach you flaunt. It's true: we are obsessing over our bodies. How many times has a cursory `Hi' followed immediately by a crushing: "Omigod! You've put on so much weight." Chances of the amply bestowed girl being approved as the "khaate peete ghar ki ladki" are, well, bad. Today one hears of 10-year-olds refusing to eat for fear of growing fat like their moms and matrimonial bureaus refusing to register a bride's profile till she sheds all those kilos.
Women, it seems, somehow manage to be cynosure of this portly problem right through their life, judged and pressured into conformity — eight year olds want a Miss India figure, teens want to show off their navel on a flat abs in low waist jeans, brides-to-be have to fit the "wanted tall, slim (therefore) beautiful bride" appearance. Life at work isn't on a roll till you fit in — as much into that suit or salwar kameez as much as into the notion of "woman on the move".
Again after marriage, cluck-clucking aunties insist one has to "maintain that figure"; during pre-pregnancy it's the turn of doctors, post-pregnancy the blubber must go to "return to normalcy", and then with visions of liposuction while you're sweating it out on the treadmill; you step into menopause with the the neighbour looking 35 at 50 even as you put on weight breathing the air around you...
The problem begins when our collective fixation with calories has more to do with looks rather than health. MetroPlus finds that a lot of women in the city are worried about their weight. But sagacity prevails over sensation when it comes to tackling the flab.
Divya. B is a 23-year-old HR executive. She stands 5'6" and the last time she weighed herself she tipped at 54 kg. There was a time when she weighed in at 58 and considered herself overweight. "I am particular about what I eat to a certain extent now. I walk regularly. But there was a time when I was over-particular. I would eat very little and be really hungry." She had stopped adding sugar in tea and "silly things like that". She cut down the amount of rice and sweets she ate. "You can't afford to look fat," she says matter-of-factly. "Society does put pressure on you to look a certain way. Media, culture, lifestyle — all put pressure on women. My midriff and thighs are constantly on my mind!" She would eat earlier at the office canteen. But now she sticks to home-cooked meals and wheat crackers for snacks.
That old guilt
Her figure was never a problem and weight never an issue for 30-year-old Anupama, a documentation consultant, till she had a baby. Her son will turn one next month. "I feel guilty about the fact that I'm not making any effort to lose weight. I don't feel like taking time off from the baby when I'm at home to exercise. I don't know what to do. But it bothers me now when people comment. I don't even know how much I weigh right now!" She's not obsessed with the way she looks, she says, but admits that she can't help glancing at the mirror every time she passes by it to peek at her bulging paunch. "I want to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, especially my jeans."
"If I see food I just eat. And I can eat rice in the morning, noon and night and every time in between!" says an exasperated Maria, 25. At 5'5" she weighs in at around 80 kg. "I am overweight. I'm not conscious about what I eat, so that's why... " she concludes glumly. But Maria's problem ran real deep when in February this year she had to undergo a back surgery because of her excess weight. "I had always been sitting on the fence. I knew laziness was my problem. Now I want to lose weight for myself and because the doctor has told me to." She's started brisk walking now. While images of girls with unreal flat anorexic stomachs don't really get to her, she has piercing pangs of regret when she can't fit into a dress she likes. While she doesn't want to fit into any stereotype of "ideal" figure or weight, it's enough if she feels happy with her body. "I'm not yet comfortable in my skin."
Pooja. M, a 28-year-old call centre employee, has been off sweets and fried food for the last eight months and lost around 8 kg. Over the last 10 years she's tried everything — aerobics, fad diets (that did not go beyond day three), gymming. "Of course people were always telling me I was overweight. But things get done only with self-motivation," says Pooja. Now she strikes a balance between a low-fat diet and a robust 45-minute walk every day. "It's finally all in the mind. While I don't obsess over weight, I do worry because putting on weight is very easy but losing it is not."
For 26-year-old Ramya Shastry, the pressure to have a decent figure got to her. Mention fat and she explodes: "Of course it does matter how I look! It matters when my mom taunts me for growing too bulky. She thinks I'm too fat to hook a groom. Having a big butt is all the more difficult. At school they called me `moti' and `little elephant', `roly-poly', `gol-matol'. Even if they mean no harm, it hurts after a point. They say something's wrong with you seriously if you are overweight. The figure thing is too much to bear!" Now she has relented and starts her morning with herbal juice and goes through the day with sprouts and steamed food. If she has to eat out it's soup and a sandwich or black tea. Yoga class sets her timetable for the day.
(Some names have been changed on request.)
THE WARRING Ws: Women and Weight
British author J.K. Rowling, mother of two girls, took time off from Harry Potter recently to make some scathing, scatological observations at women's obsession with weight. She called models "empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones" who were either seriously ill or suffered from an eating disorder. She agreed with U.S. rockstar Pink's satirical lyrics about "the talking toothpicks" who become role models for young girls. A recent survey in the U.K., in fact, discovered that women think about their weight every 15 minutes! Low body image or self-esteem, self-loathing, worrying, hating their body shape, lying about their weight, worrying about the size and shape of various parts of their body — women go through it all.
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