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Please wait, you're in a queue

As banks and cellphone companies turn people into waiters, they are reinventing time

THEY ALSO SERVE WHO WAIT People waiting in queues outside ATMs have become a regular sight PHOTO: S. R. RAGHUNATHAN

"I remember the time when I used to put my father's name on a paper and insert it in the milk bottle, before I put it in the queue," says Raj Kumar, a 40-year-old lecturer, stomping and fretting as he waits to withdraw money at the ATM of a private bank. "People of my generation are sure that more the things change, the more they remain the same. We are out of queues for kerosene, milk, sugar and trunk booking calls but are stuck in queues for money, bill counters in shops, cellphones and helplines," he says sardonically.

Of course, all are not complaining. K. Sunitha, whose share of domestic work includes paying the milkman, dhobi, newspaper vendor, school fees and telephone bills waits for the Cindrella hour on the last day of the month.

Just in time

An American MNC employee who gets paid on that day, she logs on to the Internet, chatting and emailing before accessing her e-bank account page.

The moment her salary is wired she hops into the car and zips to the nearest ATM, withdraws money, rushes back and hits the bed. "Otherwise, I would have to spend half an hour waiting in the queue. Maybe even more on the first few days of the month, and the first weekend can be killing," she says.

Security guards working in many of the ATMs are also reporting rise in the usage of the machines after 11 p.m. and before 9 a.m. office hour showing a trend.

It is not just banks that are forcing people to rethink on conveniences. That nifty widget in your palm with Bluetooth, infrared, MP3 can be used now for everything. — everything but talk.

Even party animals keen to show off their newest plaything at fancy locales prefer to SMS what they are up to rather than call. "Calls and MMS are out of the question. I fix an appointment by calling on the landline and at the rendezvous we SMS our positions," says Vineet Sethi, a pub regular.

"I keep spending money on the latest caller tunes, but sadly, none of my friends get to hear them," his pal chips in sarcastically.

As people crib and readjust lives, banks and cellphone companies are laughing away with sacks of filthy lucre.

ATMs and etiquette

You can recharge your pre-paid cell phone, pay life insurance bills, apply for a loan, do a myriad other transactions. Should you be doing all of these as soon as you get your chance at the ATM? Is it okay to prod the person ahead of you to finish his transaction fast? We never know. Shouldn't banks volunteer such information so that people learn how to behave at ATMs? "ATMs have been with us for the past 15 years and they have taken off only in the last two or three years. Soon you might see the Ps and Qs of ATMs as more operations are moved to the machines," says a banker.

Mathematics and queues

Banks and cellphone companies can solve the problem of queues as easily as solving an equation.

Banks just have to multiply the number of their ATMs and cellphone companies their relay towers to make the problem, if not disappear, at least less stressful .

The theory about waiting and queues that explains that if an ATM is used 80 per cent of times, the number of people in queue would be 3.2 but if the usage is 90 per cent, then the queue will have 8.2 people. The banks know it and ATMs have multiplied by leaps and bounds.

But this number is just not enough as more and more people start believing in anytime money.

SERISH NANISETTI

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