Features: Magazine | Literary Review | Life | Metro Plus | Open Page | Education Plus | Book Review | Business | SciTech | Friday Review | Young World | Property Plus | Quest | Folio |

Bundle of joy or burden?

Girl or boy, what do people prefer? Aparna Karthikeyan finds out from a few mums and grandmums

COMPANION FOR LIFE That's how parents are beginning to view girl children

Who wants a girl-child? Everyone!

It's absurd, unfair and impossible to believe that the `Y' chromosome — or more accurately, the lack of it — can decide the fate of a foetus. Even well heeled, supposedly educated people have been known to bless a pregnant woman with a trite `hope you're blessed with a baby boy'... how prejudiced really, wishing away Nature's perfect 50-50 possibility of either sex! Sadly, women themselves, in the past, have endorsed and perpetuated this skewed logic and the primeval urge to produce a `male heir' is reportedly still pressing in some parts of the world.

But, we wonder, are women still smitten and stuck in this (male) mania? Aren't things changing at all in favour of the `girl child'? We quizzed a few mums and grandmums, and here are their thoughts...

Rajalakshmi Anand, English lecturer, firmly believes the trend is reversing. "When a girl child is born in the family, it certainly calls for a celebration," she vouches. Susheela Sundaraman admits fervently wishing that at least her second child would be a girl (it was a boy). "Thankfully, we now have a granddaughter to compensate!' she exults. She reasons that in the past a male heir was considered essential, as only men could perform the last rites. "But nowadays, even girls are allowed to perform them." Lakshmi Gopakumar, freelance moderator, further argues that earlier boys were a security for old age. "Now that girls are earning as much as the boys, there's very little difference," she says.

Anupama Menon, alumni manager in an MBA school, (and mum of a beautiful baby girl) cites the `cho-chweet' factor. "See how pretty little girls look! I couldn't have wanted anything else!" It's true! Baby girls have an adorable, cherubic quality about them — all dolled-up in smocks and pinks, while the poor mums of baby boys have confessed feeling terribly depressed about the drab dress options.

Advantage girl

But beyond the frills and the furbelows, what is it that endears a girl child to her parents?

Prema Santhanakrishnan, blessed with two granddaughters, freely admits preferring girl children, as they epitomise `love and affection'. Agrees Shrimathi Shivashankar, senior HR consultant. "A girl child brings out the best in a mother — warmth, compassion, and above all, she's a companion throughout life." Lakshmi recounts from a discussion she heard on adoption. "Many parents were telling the moderator that they had adopted a girl as they're more caring and look after you in times of need." Susheela elaborates that a girl remains attached to her parents even after marriage, while Shrimathi admits that a girl always remembers her parents first. "Haven't you heard the adage," asks Lakshmi — "A son is a son until he gets married, a daughter is a daughter till you die!"

Shrimathi says a single girl child can also change the perspective of conservative parents. "Of course, you may also be exposed to more `male' things, starting from education to business. This is my experience as a single child, raised in a small town with parents who would have been conservative otherwise. In some respects, the way people see their heir is getting different." Concurs Susheela: "We are three daughters, and we support our parents just as a son would have!"

Is being a girl a `burden' anymore?

Hardly, is the resounding answer. Shrimathi says the so-called `expectations' from a girl child (take care of home, get married early) are slowly diminishing. Rajalakshmi feels not only are girls shouldering career and household responsibilities well, but they also have enough opportunities to outscore the boys! "Another encouraging trend is that boys are now expected to share household chores with the girls," she adds. Prema feels the gender differences have really narrowed down, especially among the educated. Discrimination probably does exist in some strata of society but the winds of change are blowing so hard that it's only a matter of time before things look even better.

If they had a choice...

What would have they picked? A girl or a boy? "I only wanted a girl! If not, I would've thought of having another child soon after (to try for a girl)," laughs Anupama. Rajalakshmi too says she would prefer a girl child any day — `a bundle of joy and love'.

"I can't differentiate between a boy and a girl, as I have both now," quips Shrimathi. "But if you want me to make a choice on adopting a child, I will definitely go for a girl!"

Isn't that validation enough?

Printer friendly page  
Send this article to Friends by E-Mail