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The `ex' factor

How do you cope with a broken affair? Read on...

Why is it that people never seem to forget their ex after a relationship ends?

Sure there'll be a lot of hurt and pain and anger... so much that it would be enough to fill all of the volcanoes in the world, and as far as that is concerned we have no problem letting it out... and that's where friends come in.

The moment a friend walks in after hearing the news it'll rain insults towards the other half of that broken relationship.

But after all that's done I've always wondered, what is it that drives us to miss and want them for months, and in some cases for years?

Why can't we just let them go?

And even if we do why do we always change the core element that makes us... us?

Why is it that people who get dumped always change from what they were, and the people who dump remain the same?

Well my version is based on what I've collected from four relationships that went sour and a ton of friends who still go on about the love lost for all the wrong reasons.

So if you've been dumped, for which I am sorry, then this one is for you.

Learning to forget

As far as forgetting goes, if you were dumped then that's definitely going to take some time to heal.

And learning to forget will take even longer because you'll find yourself constantly thinking about the relationship that meant so much to you.

You'll also find yourself thinking about what you could've done to save it, where you went wrong, and some people will go as far as blaming themselves for every mistake that ever happened in that relationship, even if it's not their own.

First of all, in order to forget, you must realise that it's over.

So forget whatever happened, no matter how nice it was, know that it's over now and tell yourself to move on.

If you're blaming yourself, 99 per cent of the time it's never your fault.

Believe it or not, it was circumstance.

Be dignified

So stop beating yourself up and act with some dignity for crying out loud.

Get up and look around... the world is moving and you're going to be left behind.

And believe me there are so many more people waiting for you now that you're single.

You always ask yourself why the other hurts you so badly, leaves you and then acts like he or she doesn't care?

When just months ago they'd have told you that they loved you, and would never leave you no matter what.

Moving on

Well here's your answer — they did love you but then realised that life was bigger than you and the small love that you both shared and so they moved on. And there is no other answer. In whichever way your relationship has ended, this is the core answer. So don't change.

Know that it is the way you are that got you loved.

Just learn from your mistakes and you'll soon be on your way.

Send in your queries to craigscall@yahoo.co.in

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