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The Mush Register

BACKWATER ROMANCE Businessman Ashok Mammen with wife Jai, who runs a boutique

Ashok

The first time we went to the beach together, she shrieked with fear as a gush of water rode over her feet. Not just the sea, but any shapeless body of water with great depth, always triggered anxiety in her. Thanks to this irrational fear, she never developed a liking for boating. However, she chose to accompany me on all my speedboat rallies on the backwaters of Kerala because she had taken the priest's words seriously. After our wedding, he took her aside and delivered a moralising lecture. One of the platitudes that marked the homily — `You shall accompany your husband wherever he goes'.

She proved to be a fast learner. While the boat would be clipping at 60 kph, she would stand up and refill the tank with a 35-litre petrol can — without a bounce. She was an expert in tackling the water hyacinth, which are more formidable than the African weed. It's like a wall and you can't slice through it. If you keep the nose up, the boat will plop on to the mass of plants and be stuck there. She would get to the front of the boat and clear the hyacinths. She possessed a high degree of skill in charting the course, using a compass. Once a combination of factors got the better of her, and she went haywire with her directions. As a result, five boats lost their way. When the furious men found out that she wielded the compass, they softened. It was the first and the only time she goofed it up.

Jai

In the 1980s, Kerala was more focussed on beach tourism. Backwater tourism was given a step-motherly treatment. The Director of Tourism had to relax certain rules to let us use our speedboats with outboard engines. Tradition required a mechanised boat to be operated by two — the driver controlled the steering, while another called sarang operated the engine. Such an operational system was out of place on our boats. The Director warmed up to our suggestions; but he could put to execution only proposals that came from someone qualified in water sports. He decided to send Ashok to the National Institute of Water Sports in Goa, for a three-week training on Mondovi River. Ashok insisted that I also be allowed to participate in the programme. The authorities in Goa booked a dormitory for us, thinking Jai must be a man. They were even more surprised when they learnt that I couldn't stay afloat in a bathtub. I was given lessons in basic swimming, before being introduced to kayaking and windsurfing.

(AS TOLD TO PRINCE FREDERICK)

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