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I am no material girl

Roses and chocolates won't do. Not even diamonds. Women these days won't settle for anything less than a strong identity

Freud found one lifetime insufficient to solve this million-dollar question. Ellis and Jung broke their collective heads over it. But where the masters failed and gracefully accepted defeat, a few trilled that they had cracked it — "Oh! We know just what women want. They want everything they can lay their hands on, everything money can buy!"

And so, every anniversary and birthday, they faithfully present the women in their lives a bunch of long-stemmed roses, designer chocolates, exquisitely wrapped trinkets and other odds and ends that, they think, will make women go weak-kneed and/or wild with excitement.

But (naturally) the women aren't remotely pleased, let alone enthralled. Thoroughly baffled, they rant: "What more can women want?"

Hardly materialistic

The answer, if one chooses to look carefully, is quite simple — women want a lot more; and most of it is hardly materialistic; and almost none of it is available off-the-rack... Believe it or not, contrary to popular opinion, a woman's life doesn't revolve around just chic shoes and chichi clothes.

To get it straight from the horses, sorry mares' mouth, we took a straw poll of some women from different backgrounds and age groups. We asked them the first thing that came to their mind when they spied the words "what women want" and the answers were such a revelation. Here's a sneak-peek at the misunderstood minds of women... .

"All I want is an identity of my own," says Bhuvana. "I want to be myself — Bhuvana — not just Mrs. so-and-so or so-and-so's mum." Priya believes that every woman values freedom and independence pretty highly. "Of course, to love and to be loved are inherent feminine qualities," she adds.

"A safe and secure, calm life and future" is what comes to Mythili's mind while unconditional love from close ones is what Shrimathi roots for. A committed partner would also be greatly appreciated, she feels.

Vasanthi votes for the freedom to make choices out of free will, and not out of social and marital compulsions.

The wish list isn't completely cerebral, for there is Anupama who instantly retorts that what she really wants is flat-abs. "Hair that doesn't grey, a body that doesn't gain weight no matter how much you eat, kids that study well and hubby who doesn't nag and always adores you," announces Sujatha. "I would want a man I can trust and if he can cook, that would be icing on the cake," laughs Bharti.

Past the Eighties

Not a single mention of platinum and diamonds, pedicures or even chocolate. It certainly takes a lot more to win women over than just some chilled champagne.

After all, if we remember right, "material girls" belonged to the Eighties.

Oh, there is one last thing — Sumathi strongly believes that above everything else, women want to be understood and appreciated.

"I don't know whether men think at all about being understood or appreciated or even about what they want. Perhaps it is because they've almost always got all they wanted," she reasons.

And perhaps, they got all they wanted ready-made, off-the-shelf of a swanky shopping mall...

Now who did they say lived in a material world?

APARNA KARTHIKEYAN

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