Features: Magazine | Literary Review | Life | Metro Plus | Open Page | Education Plus | Book Review | Business | SciTech | Friday Review | Young World | Property Plus | Quest | Folio |

Peer pressure or parental push?

How far should parents push their children in today's climate of intense competition?

PHOTO: SHAJU JOHN

PARENTING When does positive encouragement become pressure?

How much can parents decide for children in these days? Should ambitious parents push their kids to super-achievers? Do children be pressured into activities relating to their academics and pastime?

An interactive session on "Are parents forcing kids on what to be... " organised by Oxford Bookstore opened the door to a cross-section of opinions from parents, young kids and teens even as the packed room reverberated with both experienced wisdom and childlike articulations.

Young talent

Hosted by Vasanthi Hariprakash, RJ, Radio City, the evening saw two very young talents, the young and bubbly Karun Krishna (magic show) and Veda V. Bhat (dance) strutting their stuff. Which led to the question how much of all their art was an innate natural flow and what was the percentage of drive came from their parents.

Are all parents obsessed with expectations regarding their children? One section thought today's children are aggressive, enterprising and determined about their choices and no one could influence their decisions. Another insisted that parents goad their children beyond limits to take up hobbies and studies on a parallel line, so much so the young ones' schedules are crowded and stressful.

Opinions came fast and furious. "All the inborn and instinctive talents get buried if not tapped at the right time." "What is wrong if parents walk along with their children for ushering them into the future? "When women have long hours of work, people complain that she isn't attending to her children. When they do attend to them, it is termed as parents' pressure-tactics." As Vasanthi walked along with the mike and asked children about their hobbies and future plans, it brought forth a volley of responses. Apart from the "want-to-be doctors and engineers" there were kids yearning to be astronomers and astrologers! Interestingly, there were a lot of complaints from six-to-eight-year-olds about forced music, dance and swimming classes. Twelve-year-old Shweta fumed: "I have cramps during summer camps! But I have no choice."

Said Leela, a mother: "There is more peer pressure these days than from parents. I always tell my children they have to educate themselves to evolve as good human beings."

"It always pays to guide children to develop good hobbies. These are lifetime lessons," added Prerna, an IT executive.

Sameera had this to say: "What is wrong in pushing children anyway? If I let my daughter play, she will keep playing. But once I compel her to attend her dance classes, I see her skipping all the way back home with her new lessons!"

Larissa agreed. "I ran alongside my son when he took part in the five-km cycling marathon. But for me he would have not completed even a fourth of the race. Toady he is more confident. What's wrong in being pushy?"

As for the parents of the two young performers, "Nobody dreamed she would be on stage so early," said Vijayalakshmi, Veda Bhat's mother, looking on proudly as the first standard student did karanas balancing two candles on her palms and a third on her head with absolute precision. "It was just her own observations on TV and her grasping powers in slokas. From the age of two she has been taking across her dance with amazing confidence."

Stage performance

And the magic behind Karun Krishna's early debut on stage? "Nobody in our family is a magician. He took to it like fish to water at the age of three. In fact, since stage performance in magic entails help, it was he who pushed us into encouraging his passion," said Sudha and Partha, Karun's parents. The 12-year-old Karun is a student of magician K.S. Ramesh at the Magic Academy.

Incidentally both Veda and Karuna are toppers in class too.

RANJANI GOVIND

Printer friendly page  
Send this article to Friends by E-Mail