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There's something about friends
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The enduring spirit of friendship lives on despite its changing nature
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PHOTO: AP
PRIZED RELATIONSHIPS Friends aren't things you pull out in emergencies though very often they are the last bastion of support in times of turmoil
You heave a sigh of relief when your little tot comes home in the first week at kindergarten with a name on her lip and a sparkle in her eye as she describes her "best friend". You are glad, from your own experience, she has found someone she calls a friend, with whom she'll probably share her lunch box and play in the sand pit... maybe even keep in touch with as they grow older, go their own ways... and then you wonder what happened to this Savitha from school or that Rekha from your undergraduate days.
There must be something about friends, or we all wouldn't have so many. Bhavana S, a 36-year-old doctor, believes that as you grow older life gets more complex as so do relationships. "You don't interact with your friends with the same innocence that you had, say in school. We also had the pleasure of doing nothing with friends — perhaps just sitting quiet in the university's empty storm-water drain!"
Well, not so bizarre if you hark back on days of the "pen pal" — a term that's almost out of circulation, with the pen being rarely put to paper. The joy of waiting for a letter from a faceless person from across the seas telling you their stories was a thrill beyond any comparison. Email has made mouse-pals of us all.
Admittedly, time is one of the biggest constraints today, and you barely even know your neighbour's face. Going over to sip coffee and just unload your heart just doesn't happen as easily. The compulsions of being very individualistic also bring with it the baggage that we rarely unpack and share. When everyone's busy and looking so into themselves, it's not wrong to say that good friends are also a little harder to come by.
Malini Ravi, a 37-year-old scientist, has been in touch with her university friends — a close-knit group of 11 — for the last 16 years. What keeps them going and has bound them together is perhaps the fact that they were in the "rites of passage" phase together. Says Malini: "It was one of the most defining stages of my life and so I've been in touch with those friends since then. We have been through a lot together — relationships, marriage, kids, suicides, deaths and divorce."
Five of the women from the group have grand plans to celebrate their 40th birthday on a cruise!"As kids we tend to stick to that one best friend, then in your teens you pick friends by the zodiac sign but as you grow older you need your own space and bond best with those who don't invade that space."
BHUMIKA K
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