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Raising kids the right way

There are a few dos and don'ts to adhere to while bringing up your children

PHOTOS. S. SIVA SARAVANAN

UNDERSTANDING Motherhood

When does parenting begin?

Some feel it starts the very day the baby arrives, while others think it begins when the child turns three. Dr. D.K. Nemenathan, director- consultant paediatrician of Coimbatore Child Trust, has another view.

He was speaking at a workshop on parenting conducted by Vidya Vikasini Institutions as a part of its silver jubilee celebrations.

"Parenting begins on day one of conception. Even during the intra-uterine life, a child needs a social, an emotional and a good psychological environment. So, the overall development of a child lies in the hands of young mothers. By moulding them, we are moulding an entire generation," he says.

The entire family should take the responsibility to ensure that the mother- to-be enjoys a happy and stress-free pregnancy. The child has to be wanted.

For a healthy baby

One of the first things to ensure for a healthy baby is breastfeeding. Dr. Nemenathan stresses on its importance. "According to global statistics, more than 1.5 million deaths occur due to lack of breastfeeding. Due to artificial feeding, three deaths occur every 40-second. Young mothers are our target audience and they should be aware that investment in breast-feeding is priceless for a healthy and bright future community," he says and adds that it is vital for the overall development of the child. " Studies have shown that the development of surface area of the brain was 30 per cent more in such children. It is the best preventive method known to mankind to provide immunisation against any kind of infection," he adds.

Parenting skills are also vital in bringing up a happy child. " The first three years (formative years) are very important in the development of the child. Do not keep the children away from the mother by putting them in a crèche or leaving them for someone else to bring up," the doctor advises.

Talking about psychological problems in children, he says children in the age group of one to 10 sometimes suffer from habit disorders like nail biting, thumb sucking, bed wetting and tantrums, when parents are too demanding. "When the children are not able to cope, they relieve their tension through such activities."

A warm hug matters

The solution lies in a lot of love and affection.

"Cuddle the kids and rely on a positive reinforcement technique. Reward them regularly with chocolates and toys for good behaviour. It could even be for keeping their shoes in order once they are back from school," he adds.

Dr Nemenathan asks young mothers to spend quality time with children.

He encourages them to develop reading habits in them. He also advises them to share information on the financial status of the family, the importance of saving, etc, with the children, as they grow a little older.

And, by example, teach the young children to help others, he says.

Avoid spanking

About managing children, Nemenathan says, "Do not give them physical punishment. There is no history where spanking has reformed kids. Give them appropriate punishment — even a stare will do. Let the punishment be immediate and consistent," he advises. Well-designed techniques like `time-out' using a punishment chair have proved to be highly successful.

"Asking the kids to acknowledge their mistakes is a simple and effective way which has proved results," he explains

Uncontrolled freedom is a sign of bad parenting.

"Restrictive freedom is also not advisable. Reasonable freedom is the key," he says.

And the doctor can't emphasise enough on the importance of nutrition and sleep for children.

"A well-balanced nutritious diet with carbohydrates, proteins and vitamins (rice, dhal, vegetables and greens) and eight hours of sleep is very important", he says and concludes that "Everyone in the family should work as a team in bringing up a child."

* * *

Dr. D.K. Nemenathan

Remember...

* Breast-feeding should be 100 per cent for the first six months and should be continued for two years.

* From the sixth month, introduce supplementary food like ragi and rice

* Inoculate the child

* Never compare your child's performance with others.

* Discussing problems of children in front of others will give them an inferiority complex.

* Invest in love. Create a healthy and happy environment for the child.

* Be a good role model.

* Tell them inspiring stories at bedtime.

* Recreation is very important. Sixty minutes of physical activity (cycling, running, skipping or jogging) should be compulsory.

* Supervise their TV watching.

* Avoid junk foods

K. JESHI

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