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Welcome home tatha, paati

The next time your grandparents visit, check if your home is as ready as your heart to receive them

SHOW THAT YOU CARE Simple adjustments to your home can make it comfortable for elders

Did you do anything out of the way for your tathas and paatis when they last visited you? No? Well, the next time they come, tell them you love them and if you are not the `declaring your feelings' type, just do a few things around the house that will show them you really care.

In an article, American interior designer Irma Dobkin recounts how her parents finally had to tell her they could not visit her beautiful home anymore. This was because her home was not `friendly' to them. "My home demeaned my parents," she says. And so she went about overhauling her home and keeping it still looking good without making it appear too institutionalised. What can you do? Plenty, without turning your home topsy-turvy or incurring huge expenses.

Provide facilities

Make sure they have a clear space to walk in. Locomotion is a big factor, as one grows older. Rugs and mats that do not grip the floor firmly enough could lead to slips and falls, so remove them. It would help to move glassware and crystal out of the way to avoid breakages and, more important, remorse and embarrassment for the older people. Grab-rails would be great in bathrooms, especially where most of the falls seem to take place. A stool in the bathing area would be welcome, in case of sudden giddy spells or tiredness. (A nice gesture would be to equip them with anti-skid bathroom slippers). If walking sticks or walkers are being used, it would help to keep them within easy reach of the grandparents rather than tucking them away behind doors or out of sight because they clash with the décor.

Familiarise your visiting grandparents about light switches and electrical appliances. "There have been times when my grandmother has bathed in cold water, just because she has not known how to operate the geyser, or how the mixers in the bathroom operate," says Shalini whose grandparent visited her some time ago. So go over the switches and other electrical appliances they may need to use in your absence a few times till they are confident of using them.

Keep in mind that while we may be okay with an irregular eating and sleeping schedule, the elderly are not. They need the right food at the right time for their metabolism to work smoothly. If they have blood pressure or are diabetic ensure there are not too many temptations in the way and keep substitute snacks handy. Make sure your kitchen and fridge have suitable food for them.

When you are unpacking their things, keep their medicines where they can easily access them — preferably on the dining table so that they do not forget to have them. (How great it could be if we could acquaint ourselves with their medicine schedules and call them and remind them from wherever we are!)

There is no limit to the things one can do to make their stay memorable. But more than all the physical comforts in the world the most valuable gift would be some quality time. Neela, who has her parents and in laws come and stay with her and her children often, has this to say. "More than anything else, the grandparents visit our homes to spend time with grandchildren and children and enjoy a change from their own routines back home. We should give them that quality time. At least plan one family meal a day together. That is always like a shot in the arm. Not only do the grandparents enjoy being with the whole family, the kids enjoy the experience, too. And I insist the children spend dedicated time with their grandparents."

Grandparents have enriched your lives. All those warm memories you have of carefree holidays, indulgent snacks, a patient hearing whenever you needed one, a healing hug... the roles may have been reversed for some of us. And just as they opened up their homes and hearts for us, it would be wonderful if we could do the same for them, by making our homes safe and welcoming.

PANKAJA SRINIVASAN

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