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Carrot better than stick?
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We all start life with a slap on our bottom. But is there a case for physical aggression to enforce discipline in children? asks MALA KUMAR
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PHOTO: V. SREENIVASA MURTHY
OUCH! OUCH!!Current thinking frowns upon corporal punishment
As news comes in of a three-year old being branded on the cheek at a day-care centre in Coimbatore, the debate about corporal punishment continues.... Life starts with a slap on the bottom for most of us. The good doctor probably recommends it to prepare us for all the knocks we take in later life.
I heard about a harassed parent who tried reading an Internet article on Top 10 Discipline Principles. By the time she had read that and the pop-up site that gave 13 Ways to Encourage Toddler Good Behaviour, son Atul had hit his two-year old twin, flung the noodle bowl, stepped on the dog's tail and yanked the music system that was playing something he didn't like. Maybe, a little slap on the little fellow's bottom would have prevented the chaos?
"No," says Ram Anand, neuropsychiatrist, Brain Health and Mindfulness. "Physical punishment is never the best option to condition a child. We recommend `time-out', a situation where the child is taken away from surroundings that stimulate negative behaviour. Even two minutes of time-out is enough sometimes."
The little horrors!
Anyone who has had to deal with `troublesome' children in their day-to-day lives knows that this is not always possible. Ha!, they're going to say, you don't know the terrors I have to deal with every day! We beat them only after we have tried all the nice advice suggested by every behavioural scientist in the world!
"I am a calm, well-educated, cultured teacher, and do not go around beating up my students like the Headmistress in Roald Dahl's Matilda!" reveals Anusha Purohit (name changed). "And yet I have to confess that I have slapped some students sometimes, because their behaviour drove me to it at that time. They have turned out to be some of my best students and I know they do not hold those slaps against me."
To cane or not to cane? is the dilemma most teachers face. Corporal punishment is defined as any act of physical force upon a student for the purpose of punishing that student. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, 1989, which India has ratified, advocates the abandonment of force as a means of disciplining children in favour of non-violent methods of coercion. Domestic corporal punishment of children is accepted in many countries, though it is illegal in many others. The practice has been banned in Austria, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Israel, Latvia, Norway, Romania, Sweden, and Ukraine.
The debate rages on in several countries, including United Kingdom. In India, many schools have strict laws about touching children. Some schools in the city do not even allow their teachers to pat the good student! So how do parents and teachers get children to behave appropriately?
"Children can cause havoc in class," admits Jenny Mosley, an international teacher trainer, and the promoter of the popular 'circle time' concept. Addressing teachers at a workshop conducted by Bangalore's Teacher Foundation, the veteran trainer said" "If the young person deliberately misbehaves or sabotages a class, the best thing to do is to ignore the child for as long as possible. Strike when the iron is cold. A teacher or parent who strikes a child usually does it when she or he loses control momentarily, when what I call the crumple button is pressed. We have all done it at some time as parents or teachers. But as adults concerned about our wards, we have to start the peace process, and make sure to build back the bridge."
When we are cool and collected, we all know that corporal punishment is unacceptable. "Punishment can do wonders sometimes," says a colleague, who can be sweeter than honey, sharper than a razor, when it comes to dealing with her team. "As a kid, I once shouted at the cook in our house. The next second, my mother was raining blows on my back. After that day, I don't think I have ever spoken rudely to any domestic employee!"
Manoj Kumar, 42, says that, as a child, he was beaten by his father almost every day. "I grew up to be a person with very low self-esteem. Now I realise that he loved me, but I grew up believing he hated me and that I was good for nothing."
My Gandhian grandfather, a stickler for justice and non-violence, never tired of telling this story. "On a hot afternoon, my friend and I bought a slice of watermelon during school time. Our teacher spotted us and gave me a tight slap for cutting classes. I never forgot the slap or why it was given. Deciding not to eat watermelon ever was my way of accepting that I had done wrong."
We do not want adults who punish, but can we bring up children who learn, like my friend and my grandfather? The debate goes on....
Raising cane
A section of The Delhi School Education Rules 1973 reads thus:
Corporal punishment may be given by the head of the school in cases of persisting impertinence or rude behaviour towards the teachers, physical violence, intemperance and serious form of misbehaviour with other students.
(It) shall not be inflicted on the students who are in ill health. Where it is imposed, it shall not be severe or excessive and shall be so administered as not to cause bodily injury.
Where cane is used... such punishment shall take the form of strokes not exceeding 10 on the palm of the hand.
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