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Spare a thought for mom

Another Mother’s Day is around the corner and it is the right time to think of what it takes to be a mother

Photo: C.V. Subrahmanyam

Mama mia A mother and her newborn form the most basic partnership

Where would you like to be as a mother? Their compensation package, workplace environment and healthcare facilities may be completely out of sync with their responsibility, but moms can’t complain about one thing their name. Starting with the S anskrit mathru, mothers can revel in being addressed by a range of words. And they all sound sweet.

She is mum or mummy in the U.K., Australia and Canada, mom or mommy in the U.S., mam or mammy in Wales, Ireland and the Netherlands, and mama and ma in the Spanish/Portuguese-speaking cultures. In many South Asian cultures, she is amma or oma or ammi. Mmm… obviously, that’s the sound the child comfortably makes as it begins to express itself.

An International Herald Tribune report tells us that 60 million women in developing countries give birth at home with no professional help; more than half a million of them die in childbirth or from complications of pregnancy; in sub-Saharan Africa, one in five mothers loses a newborn during her lifetime.

A mother and her newborn form the most basic partnership. When war breaks out, it’s a mom who runs in panic tying to protect her kids. Earthquake, tornado, flood or famine, mom desperately forages for food for the child. It is the woman who walks long distances to fetch water to cook for the toddler, it is she who picks kindling in the forest to keep the home fire burning.

A mom is punished for abandoning the child she cannot foster. But what happens to the children of mothers who are sent to jail? And who takes care of the women and kids displaced in the name of “development”? Think of the plight of a woman trying to cook a meal in a tent. Or moms who discover that they have contracted AIDS.

Maybe you are far removed from these tragedies. But are moms better off working in corporate cubicles? How many offices have manned crèches? Is the three-month mandatory time off enough for a nursing mom? Do cities have a well-run chain of day-care centres? Is there a system to train child carers?

When the need for more maternity time and benefits were discussed at a seminar, a corporate boss suggested that women who are serious about careers should decide not to have babies. Pat came the reply. “If all working women decide to do that, where would you go for future employees?”

So, which is the best place for a mom? Which countries would a mothers’ index recommend as mom’s paradise? Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Austria, Germany, Norway, Canada, Australia, Netherlands, the United Kingdom and the U.S. remain at the top in terms of accessibility to education, healthcare, participation in government and job options. And sub-Saharan African mothers are perhaps the worst off. Give them a thought this Mother’s Day on May 13.

Right. Now, call your mother for a chat if she lives away. If she’s in the next room, step in to say the words that will make this her day. You know what? You could actually do something out of this world. Log on to Star Foundation and buy a star. Yes, you heard it right. For a small amount, this network will let you name a star after someone you love. Imagine, a unique gift for your mom that will stay an eternity. Something you can look up to and something your mom will cherish forever.

Don’t believe it? Ok. Send her the usual flowers, only make sure you don’t get conned into buying orchids. Most florists mistake cheap local flowers for this exotic variety.

Send a free e-card or send a photo frame. But if you want this day to be really special, give her a holiday.

Cook all the dishes she loves (do you even know it?) and serve your home-made lunch with a poem you wrote about her.

GEETA PADMANABHAN

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