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The many avatars of mom

Mother Day’s tomorrow gives us a chance to ponder on the many roles a mother plays, says SARASWATHY NAGARAJAN

Rekha Ajith’s work as corporate communications officer and television anchor has made her adept at multi-tasking. But she is not alone. Chief Secretary Lizzie Jacob is a well known artist while B. Sandhya is not only a top cop but also a poet and artist. Rajasree Warrier is a dancer, television personality, singer and research scholar. The list is long and all of us know many more women who adroitly handle many jobs at the same time.

It is a well known fact that women have an innate talent at multitasking. Many working mothers effortlessly juggle many jobs and wear many hats at the same time. Although some of them are plagued by guilt at the thought of untidy houses, unkempt gardens and well-wishers who try to point out how much better off life would be if women were to stay at home, most women aver that they are better human beings and mothers as they have their own careers.

Says Padma Ramachandran, former Chief Secretary of Kerala, “If I had to live my life again, I would still do the same thing. But yes, it was difficult when my children were young. Although my mother was there to help, I used to feel terrible when my daughter used to cry inconsolably when I had to go to work. But one learns to cope. Once in the office I was there physically and mentally.”

Dr. Hema, Reader, Department of English, NSS College, relives the guilt she felt when she recalls her first posting as a lecturer in Kannur. “My sons were five and three. I used to feel depressed, especially during the holidays as I could not be with them. In fact, there were many of us in the same boat. During the holidays, tempers used to flare and each of us was miserable in her own way. But I believe that there is no gain without pain.”

However she adds that now that her children are working outside Kerala, she finds her career a great boon.

Says Rekha, “My son, Avwan, knows that his mother works and he is quite used to it. Moreover, my mother is there to care for him. So I know he is in good hands. As a result there is no guilt trip as such. Both parents have to work to live comfortably. There is no question of a choice. Moreover, I ensure that when I am at home, I spend time with him and that period is sacrosanct.”

A point emphasised by most moms who also work outside the home. Eventually children understand a mother’s work schedules and workloads and learn to adjust.

Says Hema, “When I had deadlines to meet or assignments to be completed, my husband, Rajagopalan, and my sons would cope beautifully. Meals would be ordered from hotels and they would shoulder much of the work at home. Children learn to be considerate and appreciate their mother.”

Playback singer Sujatha had once said wistfully how her programmes had forced her to miss her daughter, Swetha’s special days in school and college. Instead of falling into the blame game, Swetha was told early on how her mother, Sujatha, had worked hard to taste success and how it was mandatory for her to travel for programmes and recordings. As a result Swetha learnt to appreciate her mother and it seems to have inspired her to follow in her footsteps.

Rekha’s four-year-old has also learnt that there are many facets to his mother. Says Rekha, “As I talk about my work and my colleagues, my son calls me ‘UST amma.’ He feels that there are two of me. One is UST amma and the other is Rekha. But whenever he sees me on the telly, he switches off the set. I guess he wants Rekha to be his mom only.”

Many of these women have taken after their mothers who led from the front. Says Rekha, “My mother, Valsala Menon, used to work as a professor and so I was used to her being away from home. It all depends on the support system at home.”

And who knows better than mothers when it comes to supporting working daughters. “I was in the United States for a year to look after my grandchild as my daughter is a doctor there,” says Padma.

Hema was inspired by her mother, the late Rethi Devi, to become a teacher. “My mother’s dedication influenced me.”

And so these chips off the old block are also becoming role models for their children. “I know my son will be proud of his mother as he grows older,” avers Rekha.

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