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A thought for mamma

A look at what it means to be a mother

MAMMA MIA! Hema Malini with her daughters Esha (left) and Ahana

Here would you like to be as a mother?

Their compensation package, workplace environment and healthcare facilities may be completely out of sync with their responsibility, but moms can’t complain about one thing {} their name. Starting with the Sanskrit Mathru, mothers can revel in being addressed by a range of words. And they all sound sweet. Some reward!

She is mum or mummy in the United Kingdom (U.K.), Australia and Canada, mom or mommy in the United States, mam or mammy in Wales, Ireland and Netherlands and mama and ma in Spanish/Portuguese-speaking cultures. Similar sounding words can be heard in other languages – maman in German, mamma in Italian, or mama in most of Europe. In many south Asian cultures, she is amma or oma or ammi. What’s in a name? Not much, if you take a good look at what’s happening to millions of mothers around the world. An International Herald Tribune report tells us that 60 million women in developing countries give birth at home with no professional help; more than half a million of them die in childbirth or from complications of pregnancy; in sub-Saharan Africa, one in five mothers will lose a newborn during her lifetime. Every minute, more than two-thirds of all newborn deaths and three-fifths of maternal deaths occur in 10 countries: India, China, Pakistan, Nigeria, Bangladesh, Ethiopia, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Indonesia, Afghanistan and Tanzania; happily, many poor countries like Eritrea, Indonesia, Nicaragua, Philippines and Tajikistan are making great strides in newborn survival despite limited financial resources.

A mother and her new-born form the most basic partnership. When war breaks out, it’s mom who runs in panic tying to protect the kids. Earthquake, tornado, flood or famine, mom desperately forages for food for the child. It is the woman who walks long distances to fetch water to cook for the toddler, it is she who picks kindling in the forest to keep the home fire burning. Marauding armies rape her.

A mom is punished for abandoning the kid she cannot foster. But what happens to kids of moms put in jail? And who takes care of the women and kids displaced in the name of “development”? May be you are far removed from these tragedies. But are moms better off working in corporate cubicles? How many offices have manned crèches? Is the three-month mandatory time-off enough for a nursing mom? Do cities have a well-run chain of day-care centres? Is there a system to train child carers? When the need for more maternity time and benefits were discussed at a seminar, a corporate boss suggested that women who are serious about careers should decide not to have babies. Pat came the reply. “If all working women decide to do that, where would you go for future employees?”

So, which is the best place for a mom? Which countries would a mothers’ index recommend as mom’s paradise? Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Austria, Germany, Norway, Canada, Australia, Netherlands, U.K. and the U.S. remain at the top in terms of accessibility to education, healthcare, participation in government and job ops. And sub-Saharan African mothers are perhaps the worst off. Give them a thought this Mother’s Day.

Right. Now, call your mom for a chat if she lives away. If she’s in the next room step in to say the words that will make this her day. You know what? You could actually do something out of this world. Log on to Star Foundation and buy a star. For a small amount, this network will let you name a star after someone you love. Don’t believe it? Ok.

Send her the usual flowers. Send a free e-card if you want, or send a photo frame. There is this option of man-made (read nakli) diamonds. But if you want this day to be really special, give her a holiday. Cook all the dishes she l oves (do you even know it?) and serve your home-made lunch with a poem you wrote about her.

(Mother’s Day is celebrated second Sunday of May)

GITA PADMANABHAN

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