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Nothing but the truth

Kshama Kaul’s works speak about the reality of terrorism, of exile and of human apathy

Photo S. Gopakumar

Sensitive writer For Kshama Kaul writing has been a therapeutic exercise

Smiling eyes and a cheerful voice greet you when you meet Kshama Kaul. But the almost-childish innocence belies the painful memories of Kashmir she tries to deal with as a novelist, poet and diarist. Kshama Kaul was in the city to read at the Kritya International Poetry Festival.

Kaul was born in Srinagar and lived there till she was married and had two children. She started writing during her college days. For a while, she wrote in general . Till one day, she had to leave her home, her land and was made “homeless in our own country.” As a writer, she thought her responsibility was to tell the world about the new realities she encountered — the reality of terrorism, of exile and of human apathy.

To a great extent, writing has been a therapeutic exercise for this Kashmiri writer who writes in Hindi. When she — like many other women — was forced to live in a different state away from her husband, with little access to basic amenities, several challenges came her way.

Even today, she finds it unfortunate that her children have not been able to see their ancestral house in Kashmir: “We’re such unfortunate parents… our children are inheriting deep pain from us.”

“I wrote about all this in my first diary and writing it helped me overcome my depression,” she says.

In the process, Kaul tries to portray the collective struggle and pain of the Kashmiri woman. Her ‘Pandit Story’ — published in ‘Speaking Peace: Women’s Voices from Kashmir’ (Kali for Women, 2002) recounts the horrors of the sexual assaults and rapes that Pandit women experienced.

Kaul agrees it’s very difficult to write about such painful issues, but also adds, “Unless you have done anything difficult, you haven’t done anything substantial.” Her novel, ‘Dardpur’ (‘City of Pain’) has been acclaimed as a “brutally frank” exploration of themes such as exile, communal history, and so on.

As a novelist she also tries to address the intellectuals and implores them to look at these plaguing realities and redefine accepted notions, if necessary.

More than anything else, Kaul considers truth as the driving force behind her writing: “When I wrote ‘Dardpur,’ I tried to be loyal to the truth and nothing else… Whether I get bouquets or brickbats, I will continue to write on these realities.”

In portraying this reality, how does she choose between fiction and poetry? “When I want to say something straight, I go for prose. But when it’s complicated or philosophical, the words come to me as poetry,” explains Kaul.

Though no contemporary writing has really touched her, Lalded, the 14th century Kashmiri woman poet continues to haunt Kaul with her strong words and honest vision.

As for Malayalam literature, Kaul has been influenced by Ayyappa Paniker, K. Satchinandan and masters such as Thakazhi Sivasankaran Pillai. She especially savours ‘Chemmeen.’

Sitting in a hotel room that offers a glimpse of the city’s green environs, Kaul looks happy to be in Kerala. In many ways, the greenery reminds her of her Kashmir, she says wistfully.

All one could hope for at that moment was for more sensitive writing from this honest writer. “I have so many things to tell before I die,” she says.

ANUPAMA R

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