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Driving away the adolescent blues

The age between 13 and 19 years is the most crucial period for any child

Photo: K.R. Deepak

Be a good friend A doting mother planting a good luck kiss before an exam

An intelligent girl who was good in studies till the age of 12 suddenly lost interest in studies and not only that, the mild tempered girl’s behaviour turned hostile. The sudden development confused her parents and to bring her back into the ri ght track they adopted strict measures. This continued for about two years and when things went out of control, the parents rushed to a clinical psychologist on the advice of a common friend. After two sittings, the psychologist concluded that it is a normal problem related to adolescence, which the parents were unable to understand and relate to.

The age between 13 and 19 years is the most crucial years for any child, especially girls. “This is the time when they undergo a major biological and hormonal change, which influences the mind to a great extent,” says P. Nirmala Devi, professor in the Department of Psychology, Andhra University. She adds that the growth is so fast that it leaves a stunning effect on the child. “Embarrassment creeps into their mind and that affects the overall personality and at times they feel like strangers to themselves. Adolescents lack clear thinking and perceptions. The syndrome of ‘Role ambiguity’ sets in and they are uncertain about things, their attitude turns rebellious and defiant, they face identity crisis and these things in most cases lead to depression,” says she.

The professor says that at this stage the parents should play the role of a friend. Take them into confidence and employ the 3C formula (care, comfort and concern).

This is the period when one has to plan for future and chart out a career plan. This is also the period when a lot of negative vibes flow from all directions. The uncertain minds easily succumb to the negative vibes and the role of a parent is to guide the child towards a good foundation.

Prof. Nirmala Devi says that administering curbs in the activities of the child could aggravate the negative situation. “The best would be to treat them as friends and fix responsibilities. In a good number of cases it is seen that children of that age group are either branded as ‘too old’ for doing certain things or ‘too small’ to undertake a task. Give them their individuality and let them function. But at the same time it does not mean that leave them on their own. It is always better to keep a tag on their activities like what they are doing, who are their friends and what are their interests. It is a balancing act and the parents have to do it carefully and make sure that they do not give a ‘snoopy’ feeling.”

Career pressure

Another important factor that needs to be addressed during this age is the prospect of careers. The children are put to undue pressure from various quarters like over expectations of the parents, peer pressure and pressure from the academicians.

A number of suicide cases have surfaced over the last few years and majority were due to the over expectation of the parents and peer pressure.

“Every child has got his or her own dreams and interests. It is the duty of the parents to understand that and encourage the child in that direction. Let career be chosen by choice and not by chance. If it is difficult for the parents to understand ‘where the love lies for’ in the child then it is better to consult a psychologist. There are various methods to ascertain the strengths and weakness in a person. Treat the growing child as an individual and not as a property and there lies the secret of handling the problems of adolescence,” says Prof. Nirmala Devi.

SUMIT BHATTACHARJEE

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