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MY BEST FRIEND Teenage can be tough on parents and kids

Teenage is said to be a period of stress. Both the parents and teens cannot understand each other’s language. Travelling to a new place without sufficient information such as the right bus, the duration of journey and the spot to get down is most likely to cause tension. A boy or a girl entering teenage without necessary information regarding the changes happening to him or her can be compared to this. Physical changes in this period are significant in that it poses lots of questions and apprehensions in them. Without proper guidance, they may get into unnecessary tensions or even lose their way! The best persons to talk to them about this are indeed their parents. Explain to them about the changes to expect and this preparation will help them have a healthy attitude towards life. A teenager will not respond to power and authority. The approach of power and authority towards a teen might result in “stunted growth” or would be encountered by stubbornness. Wayne Rice and David Veerman, in their book ‘Understanding your Teenager’, ask parents to let their teen child take some responsibilities for themselves and the household. This will help them develop self discipline, interpersonal skills and good judgment. But leaving them completely on their own might harm them. Ideally a healthy position is one in which he is fused with the family and yet also remains as an individual. The most influencing factor during teenage is one’s peers. They prefer to spend more time together, hold long conversations which do not end on campus, but are carried over to phones and meetings outside.

To have friends is very important at this stage, the failure of which creates a feeling of inadequacy. Equally important is that it should be healthy. If the parents point out the friends they should choose in order to avoid unhealthy friendship, the teens respond with rebellion. It is only logical that it is impossible to impose friendship on someone; it just has to happen. The panacea to keep them away from danger is a transparent relationship between the parents and the teenager. “My son’s main concern now is to be in the company of girls, dress stylishly and have fun. He never used to be like this,” complains the mother of a Std. XII boy.

“Crushes”, “Infatuations” and “attractions” are very common in teenage years. It is very important to educate them about such things and the fact that they need a lot of time to make a matured decision on critical issues such as love and marriage.

They should also be taught to be assertive, not to say ‘Yes’ where they have to say ‘No”! Now-a-days, chat friendship online is a trend among teenagers. “Traps” and “blackmail” are quite usual outcomes of chat friendship. To avoid this, the best way out is to educate them to use it in a safe and constructive manner. A study conducted at the University of Minnesota and the University of North Carolina found that the closer the teenagers were to their parents, the less likely to go astray. Here’s a message for parents: Listen to your child, understand his/her peculiarities and be a guide to her/him.

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