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On board and bored?
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Cramped space, canned air, stale food, nothing to do…GEETA PADMANABHAN has some tips to endure long flights
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Sleep therapy Good way to kill time on a long journey and emerge refreshed
There you go spying. You’ve been on board three hours, eaten the flight kitsch and can’t sleep. You’ve had to board at an ungodly hour and it’s wake-up time on your clock. You’ve already watched the first 10 minutes of a
ll the movies on offer. So it’s walking down the cramped aisle, glancing either side. What’s everyone doing to fill, better still, kill time on this 11-hour long flight?
Do people enjoy long flights?
Friends responded: “Sure, I look forward to a 14-hour journey crammed into a tiny seat next to a heavyweight boxer who has body odour and prefers me to the airline pillow.” “Am ready to pull out my hair after 3 hours!” “It depends. Economy seat is okay only if the interior is half empty. Business class, I’m okay with. First class,
I don’t want the journey to end.” “No window seat on a long haul. Aisle seat – it’s tolerable.” “I love it, that’s where I developed the skill of staring into space for hours. I also study the in-flight map.”
Double-digit hours in the coach class. The only compensation can be an exotic destination, all paid for. Cramped space, canned air, stale food, littered toilets. Plane populated by passengers who haven’t heard of personal space — there isn’t much of it to share anyway. Seats in the front with legroom don’t always come your way.
Airlines do try to keep you out of mischief. Seatback-mounted screens that feature movies, soap, games, and music. If you (or the company) have cash to spare, you could fly a class with beds. But even wonderfully polite stewardesses and free booze can get to be too much on a Taipei to Frisco haul. You could push about, play trampoline with the seat ahead, be a pest to passengers and stewardesses alike, scatter food, shout across, occupy half the next seat. Or you could have a journey that’s less offensive and more meaningful. No, airlines don’t dish out Best-Mannered Passenger awards. Not yet.
Uma Nair, who’s probably recognised at most boarding gates could get that award. On her frequent NYC-Singapore-Penang crossings, she took her cross-stitch kit, now takes Mary Higgins Clark for company. She does the health stuff but what she enjoys most is watching people. Warning: behave if you’re on the same plane. Fidget, she’ll shush you. Jump queues, she’ll start a campaign. Be fussy, no, don’t, if you don’t enjoy air-borne sermons.
Uma loves to chat up airhostesses. “Once a stewardess spilled hot coffee on me,” she said. “After apologising, she brought me a very special snack.
The best time-pass is thinking about the destination. I look forward to playing golf with my SIL.”
“Never again”.
Tried and tested tips
Clamp on headphones, wear a sleep mask, focus on breathing, meditate. Set the brain to zero, go into a trance.
Carry your “comfort” pillow. Ask for extra blankets, fill space near the window. Snooze.
Take along a manicure kit (minus sharp stuff, nail polish goes into transparent plastic). Give yourself a manicure.
Apply a hair treatment.
Take part in on-board bidding, shopping, anything the airline offers. Fill “suggestion” booklets with long remarks.
If it’s a business flight, get work done. Or loosen your belt and shoes, let down your hair and daydream.
Break journey for airport tours. Don’t booze. A hangover will await you at the airport.
A 12-hour flight across the globe can be a health event. You can eat carefully, do light exercise, sip liquids, slip into LOS (land of sleep) and emerge feeling refreshed. Or you can walk down the chute muttering
* * *
What to do
* Keep the reading material light, content-wise. Go for non-political magazine, puzzle books, shortstory/ fun essays collections (tried Erma Bombeck?) and predictable thrillers. Bring more than one, to avoid disappointment.
* Lug your own music/entertainment consoles. Music on board isn't particularly scintillating. Take along your pair of headphones. Airlines' sets are basic. Laptops, even with short life-spans help you do work, watch movies.
* Fiddle with an iPod, Gameboy, PSP or Nintendo. Listen to your MP3 player. Rubik's cube, journaling and sketching are fine - do you have a sudoku book?
* Walks down the aisle? Excellent, but unworkable. Co-passengers resent it and they let you know it. Drink water. Cold air dehydrates. If you feel queasy, eat only the bland items on the tray and ask for carbonated drinks. Stretch your legs and arms as often as you can. There's space near the exit doors.
* Wear clothing for comfort, not for fashion. Tight shoes will get tighter - swollen feet are by-products of cross-continental forays.
* Fill forms and keep them ready. Keep medicines handy, preferably in the pocket if you need regular, after-meals medication.
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