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Boys don’t cry?
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Is weeping at the movies an exclusive girl preserve?
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Turn on the tap "Black" is an all time favourite weepie
Why do we go to the movies? For some, that is a no-brainer with ‘to be entertained and have a good time’ as the most obvious answer.
But then, what about those who go to the movies to cry their hearts out? Go on and admit it, there are times when a movie moves us to tears and we do feel the better for it at the end of the maudlin marathon.
“It could be something to do with catharsis you know,” says Preethy, a doctor.
“All that crying leaves one emotionally cleansed.” Pradeep Sarkar, fresh from helming the four-handkerchief weepie “Laaga Chunari Mein Daag,” also chooses the theatrical route to explain the waterworks phenomenon.
“There are nine rasas when telling a story and crying is a direct result of the karuna rasa. And one need not only cry when one is in pain. One can also weep with laughter or happiness. I believe that rone mein jo maza hai, woh hasne mein nahin hai.”
Like in every emotion, the empathy factor is huge. Just like a horror movie is all the more terrifying if you can identify with the situation, so too a tragedy becomes that much more teary if you can put yourself in the character’s place. “I put myself in the protagonist’s shoes,” says Mythili G. Nirvan, Managing Director of a PR firm.
Kerchief please
“The thought that it could happen to me brings tears to my eyes. Family stuff makes me cry. Movies like ‘Baabul’, ‘Bhagban’ and ‘Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna’ had me reduced to tears.”
Minu, a chartered accountant, says she cries for “stupid emotional stuff. I feel silly crying but I cry nevertheless.”
The last film she cried for was for the hooker-with-heart-of-gold story, “Laaga…”.
With respect to gender and crying at the movies, Mythili believes that “men are wired differently. They seem to be able to be distance themselves from what is happening in the film.” Minu concurs saying: “Crying while watching a movie is definitely a girl thing.”
And there seems to be proof of this. William Frey, who wrote “Crying: The Mystery of Tears” showed some super weepies to 150 people and came to the conclusion that women cry four times more than men.
While Jose, a chartered accountant, says he never cries at the movies because, “I avoid these tear-jerkers. I watch a film to be entertained. Also, I do not get too involved as I know it is just a movie.”
For every Jose, there is also a Satish Reddy, communications student, who cries to this day “at the end of ‘Sholay’, when Veeru and Basanti leave Ramgarh in the train without Jai.”
Sarkar comments: “I have cried for so many films. The last time I cried was for ‘Munna Bhai’. I know it is a comedy. That is what I meant by crying with laughter. There is even that final scene in ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ when Chief breaks down the door. It is so powerful that it bought tears to my eyes.”
For the guys out there who feel they cannot cry over a flickering chiaroscuro on a piece of white cloth, there is the make-up artiste to the stars, Mickey Contractor, saying: “I cry at the movies even though I know about the tons of glycerine that goes into the make up for a moving scene. I even cry during story narrations! We Indians are emotional and we get totally involved in our movies and that is how it should be.”
Be a man
Mickey, who was immensely moved by the angst in “Black” insists: “I don’t think crying is a girl thing at all. Guys need to be man enough to show their emotions.” The verdict is out — ladies you can sniffle as much as you want and boys you don’t have to constantly pretend the watering eyes are the result of something that fell into them!
MINI ANTHIKAD-CHHIBBER
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