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From change of clothes and music books to tennis gear and finger food, the car has become a mobile home. GEETA PADMANABHANdiscusses how our busy lives have forced us to spend quality time—on wheels
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MOVING WAY TO BOND The family car now lives up to its name
The car has a place in parenting. “Hop in,” said Kavitha opening the Santro’s passenger door.
If it was rain outside, it was a reek storm of pepperoni and cheese inside. “Sorry about the smell,” Kavitha laughed. “The kids were eating pizza. After school, it’s a whirlwind of karate, keyboard and calligraphy classes. The car inevitably becomes a mobile home.”
All purpose
Thursdays 3:30 p.m., Anuja Dinesh is ticking off supplies for her 11 and eight-year-old’s co-curriculars.
Tennis gear, music book, Cubs and Bulbul uniforms, dry/finger food, water and change of clothes.
“Wet tissues!” she runs from car to cupboard to car. “I’m the ultimate activity mom (AM) and my Alto is my greatest ally.”
The family car now lives up to its name. Time spent sitting on the terrace, walking to the fair, chatting around the dining table or laughing at Tom&Jerry is now time in the transport. C is for car, for calming music and conversation.
In the crash course of work, school, tuitions and week-end chores, parents are discovering that the car is where you get to know the kids.
It’s a moving, backseat way to bond. The connection starts when parents drive infants to sleep. “The car has had a changing role,” said Anuja. “I bought this exclusively for shuttling. That’s more time with kids.”
Nearly 15 hours a week with kids exclusively is priceless quality time. “On car trips , I question my kids about their studies, social interactions, fears and worries,” said Vidya Ram, a die-hard AM.
“I have discussions of philosophy with my son, explain morality to my daughter and eavesdrop on their conversations.” Anuja’s kids also get a lecture on road rage.
“I tell them it’s not cool to shout. Self-control comes with practice. They tell me about bullies, we smooth out the day’s aches and pains. They go to bed feeling better.”
Actor ‘Nizhalgal’ Ravi admits to using son Rahul’s craze for cars to advantage. “I’ve moved from Scorpio to Skoda on his advice. Mood-out, won’t listen? No problem! It’s like, vaadaa, oru round pohalaam. I talk to him about studies. He has to listen, ha, ha!”
Talk time
The week-long drive to Goa and back (“Rahul suggested we drive”) was fantastic, he said.
“The car has a TV, lots of music, water/food holders. But we mostly talked. I feel I know my son better now. We’re planning more long drives. Rahul reads auto mags and updates me on cars. On these drives, I have no communication problem with my teenager!”
“An active parent needs a roomy car with plenty of trunk space ,” pointed out Jaya Murthy. She carpools often, “so I need to plan for more space than just for immediate family. I also think bicycle racks in the back are a must.”
Jaya agreed our busy lives force us to find quality time in the car. “So I prefer a quieter car with a closer atmosphere rather than a big van, where conversation is harder . A good music system makes roadtime enjoyable.”
Sure, the car takes a beating. At the end of the day, the interior looks like the pandal after a political convention.
Books, water bottles, cup noodle containers, pencils, crayons, tissues, jackets, wrappers, papers … But here’s a chance for some clean-up lessons! “I have plastic bags hanging from the door,” said Anuja.
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