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MOVING WAY TO BOND The family car lives up to its name

The car has a place in parenting. “Hop in,” said Kavitha opening the Santro’s passenger door. If it was rain outside, it was a reek storm of pepperoni and cheese inside. “Sorry about the smell,” Kavitha laughed. “The kids were eating pizza. After school, it’s a whirlwind of karate, keyboard and calligraphy classes. The car inevitably becomes a mobile home.”

Thursdays 3:30 p.m., Anuja Dinesh is ticking off supplies for her 11 and eight-year-old’s co-curriculars. Tennis gear, music book, Cubs and Bulbul uniforms, dry/finger food, water and change of clothes. “Wet tissues!” she runs from car to cupboard to car. The kids’ favourite music is already stored in the dashboard. “I’m the ultimate activity mom (AM) and my Alto is my greatest ally.”

The family car now lives up to its name. Time spent sitting on the terrace, walking to the fair, chatting around the dining table or laughing at Tom&Jerry is now time in the transport. C is for car, for calming music and conversation. In the crash course of work, school, tuitions and week-end chores, parents are discovering that the car is where you get to know the kids. Long hours in confined space means catching up with sleep, undivided attention, physical proximity. It’s a moving, backseat way to bond. The connection starts when parents drive infants to sleep. “The car has had a changing role,” said Anuja. “I bought this exclusively for shuttling. That’s more time with kids.” It has all happened through the backdoor.

Nearly fifteen hours a week with kids exclusively is priceless quality time. “On trips to school and activities, I question my kids about their studies, social interactions, fears and worries,” said Vidya Ram, a die-hard AM. “I have discussions of philosophy with my son, explain morality to my daughter, eavesdrop as they bridge the 6-year gap between them with silly conversations.” Anuja’s kids get a lecture on road rage. “I tell them it’s not cool to shout. Self-control comes with practice. They tell me about bullies, smooth out the day’s aches and pains. They go to bed feeling better.” ‘Nizhalgal’ Ravi admits to using son Rahul’s craze for cars to advantage. “I’ve moved from Scorpio to Skoda on his advice. Mood-out, won’t listen? No problem! It’s like, vaadaa, oru round pohalaam. Week-ends, we cruise down ECR, drive to Mayajaal. I talk to him about studies. He has to listen, ha, ha!”

The week-long drive to Goa and back (“Rahul suggested we drive”) was fantastic, he said. “The car has a TV, lots of music, water/food holders. But we mostly talked. I feel I know my son better now. We’re planning to drive to Coimbatore. Rahul reads auto mags and updates me on cars and accessories. On these drives, I have no communication problem with my teenager!”

Road trips with kids are seen as ops to develop vibes. Are auto manufacturers aware? “Car owners do shop for kid-friendly stuff,” said Venkatraman of Sandhya, a car accessories outlet. “We sell headrest trays, utility bags, poly-urethane seat-covers, fabric protector, child locks, doll planks, headphones, game consoles and of course, DVD players. The latest is E-air.” “An active parent needs a roomy car with plenty of trunk space for bags and equipment,” pointed out Jaya Murthy. She carpools often to help juggle everybody’s schedules, “so I need to plan for more space than just for immediate family. It’s hard for me to say, “I can’t give you a ride from school ‘coz I don’t have room” to any kid! I also think bicycle racks in the back are a must.”

Jaya was surprised to learn that some teenagers think of cars as status symbols these days. “When I gave my car for servicing and got a Hyundai for a filler vehicle, my carpool said, “Oh my goodness, duck and sit, we don’t want to be seen in this after the Merc!” She agreed our busy lives force us to find quality time in the car. “So I prefer a quieter car with a closer atmosphere rather than a big van, where conversation is harder to make. A good music system makes roadtime enjoyable.”

Sure, the car takes a beating. At the end of the day, it’s possible the interior looks like the pandal after a political convention. Books, water bottles, cup noodle containers, pencils, crayons, tissues, jackets, wrappers, papers … But here’s a chance for some clean-up lessons! “I have plastic bags hanging from the door,” said Anuja. “Can’t have things strewn about, the older one has to change clothes!”

Alphabet games - animals, fruits, cities

Name the models around

Riddles

Printed grids to score out names of places, cars, etc.

Ask: Three things to wish for, favourite places to visit, hide, live, favourite foods, animals, bugs, quiet things to do, happenings they cherish.

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