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BE AN EARLY BIRD Delayed childbirth could pose problems for both parents and children

Sanjana Rishab, a media manager, was so in love with her job that she kept putting off marriage. When she finally did, she was 42, and had had a couple of miscarriages.

Many generations ago, the wedding bells for a girl chimed well before she was 14, but the situation has undergone a change, for the better. However, career and financial security have gained precedence over matrimony and raising children.

T. Kamaraj, infertility specialist at Aakash Fertility Centre and Hospital, Chennai, says that ideally, a woman should have had two children by age 25. At the most, before she turns 30.

Though postponement may be a conscious process for a few, for many, pregnancy could be delayed due to physiological problems.

C.V. Kannaki Uthraraj, Director, Fertility Centre, KMCH, says the common causes for delay in pregnancy are problems in respect of ovulation, uterus (such as fibroids), Fallopian Tube, and coitus in women, and sperm profile and erectile dysfunction in men.

Delay in pregnancy can also be due to ‘unexplained infertility’ where the problem is at a genetic level in the egg or sperm.

“Lifestyle, too, is one of the chief causes.” Smoking, alcohol, stress, food habits, environment, lack of exercise and obesity also play a part, she adds.

So, what bearing does age have on pregnancy and delivery? Says Kamala Selvaraj of GG Hospital, Chennai, “The risk of hypertension, diabetes mellitus, anaemia and pregnancy-induced hypertension and miscarriage, increases with age.”

The chances of abnormalities, both physical and mental, in children also become high, warns Dr. Kamaraj.

Sujata recalls how she was depressed after her foetus tested positive for Down’s Syndrome. Thankfully, her six-year-old son is as active as any other kid his age.

In addition, there are also the psychological risks of having children late. In most instances, such kids are single children. And, because it is a precious child, parents tend to be protective, overbearing and fussy. P. N. Ramani, psychiatrist, says such children could end up being demanding, manipulative and self-centred.

Older parents may also have to handle plenty of other issues. Says Sujata: “There are occasions such as PTA meetings where you see that your child’s friends have younger parents. It worries you when contemporaries whose children are in college tell you, ‘you have a long way to go’.”

Agrees Anita Achar (46) mother of a six-year-old. “There are moments when I think that my husband would have stopped working when he is still studying.” Many older parents concur that being physically, mentally and financially sound, feeling young at heart, and having a support system is vital.

At 55, Brinda Alagappan is the oldest mother in India to have twins. She says it was possible because she had the complete support of the family.

Unlike what one may think, delayed childbirth is not without its advantages. Says Sujata: “It is stressful, but every age has its pros and cons. When you age, you have better perspective and handle problems better.” As for Anita, she says the greatest advantage is that she played with her friends’ children, and now they and their children play with her child and pamper him.

For the children, being a precious child could turn out to be a blessing. As 33-year-old Vikrant Rao discovered. He was born when his father was 55 and mother, 40. “I feel that I have a lot of patience in dealing with people, especially older people. I think I can understand their needs and deal with them quite well,” says this Munich-based engineer. Though delayed childbirth may come with a few advantages, it is advisable to start the family early to avoid multi-pronged problems for both parents and the children. If one takes a deliberate effort, delayed childbirth can soon be a thing of the past. Kannaki recommends a visit to the gynaecologist if pregnancy does not happen even after “12 months of unprotected intercourse”.

She suggests starting the family early, and going in for healthy food and exercise. And, couples going in for infertility treatment can enrol for yoga classes, as it not only de-stresses but also helps them bond better.

So, all we are saying is, be an early bird!

(A few names have been changed on request)

W. SREELALITHA

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