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For Dads-to-be
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To truly enjoy a pregnancy, it is important for husbands to understand the process
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Sanjay’s wife has just broken the news of her pregnancy to him. He was ecstatic and started calling up his relatives and friends. But a few minutes later, Sunanda found him sitting by himself, looking a little anxious and worried. He is unsure
whether he will be a good husband and support her through the pregnancy. He is unclear about most aspects of pregnancy. If he knows so little, will he be able to help Sunanda through the ups and downs of pregnancy?
When I started practising obstetrics 27 years ago, women usually came for their consultation with their mother or another female relative. It was uncommon to see a husband accompany his wife for an antenatal check-up. With encouragement, and the promise of being allowed in the labour room with their wives for the birth of their child, more and more husbands started accompanying their wives. Today, the majority of women come with their husbands and this is how it should be.
Pregnancy is replete with changes. The physical and emotional changes that occur in the pregnant woman can leave her partner bewildered and sometimes a little worried. To truly enjoy the pregnancy, it is important for the husband to have a complete understanding of the process of pregnancy and the innumerable adjustments that are needed.
The father is important too
Children need their fathers as much as their mothers. A man’s role as a father can begin long before the baby is born. A supportive husband can make his wife’s pregnancy easier and healthier. There is no doubt that labour and delivery is easier and shorter for women whose husbands actively participate in the process.
Dealing with the emotional roller-coaster
Physical and hormonal changes in pregnancy can wreak havoc with a woman’s moods. These changes are normal but will sometimes be unsettling and perplexing for both of you. Knowing what to expect and talking openly about it will help you, as a couple, have an upbeat experience.
The first three months
Feeling exhausted, nauseous, and anxious about her changing body, a woman can have abrupt changes of moods in early pregnancy. A husband, by being available, spending more time with his wife and helping out in the normal household routines, will be a great morale booster. It helps to be patient, and to try to handle her tumultuous moods with a ready sense of humour.
The middle three months
This is the best part of pregnancy: most women begin to feel better during 14-28 weeks. As the woman’s body adjusts to being pregnant, she feels energetic and starts enjoying her pregnancy. At the routine antenatal check up, hearing the baby’s heart beat for the first time makes the pregnancy feel real. The feel of the baby’s first movements brings about a sense of closeness and bonding in the couple.
Late pregnancy
As the baby continues to grow, the increasing weight and abdominal stretching cause varying degrees of discomfort. Sleep evaporates and even the routine chores become a burden. Close to delivery, as the head of the baby drops into the birth canal, moving around become cumbersome. Husbands also start sharing in the anxiety and concern about the upcoming labour.
Intimacy in pregnancy
Many couples wonder if sex is safe in pregnancy and if intercourse will harm the baby. If there are no complications like bleeding or chances of premature birth, intercourse is considered safe and healthy. As long as the woman does not have any pain or discomfort, there is no contraindication to having sex during pregnancy.
Doctor’s visits
It is important for a husband to participate in his wife’s visits to her obstetrician. This keeps him well informed about the progress of the pregnancy and also allows him to help his wife handle her pregnancy in a positive frame of mind. A husband who wants to be in the labour room with his wife should discuss this with the obstetrician. Childbirth preparation classes are a great way to learn what to expect during labour.
Labour and delivery
A husband’s role during labour and birth is to provide emotional support and comfort to his wife. Being there and being part of the child’s birth is a significant and incomparable experience.
(The author is a Chennai-based obstetrician and gynaecologist with a special interest in women’s health issues.)
GITA ARJUN
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