Features: Magazine | Literary Review | Life | Metro Plus | Open Page | Education Plus | Book Review | Business | SciTech | Friday Review | Cinema Plus | Young World | Property Plus | Quest | Folio |

A tourist guide was instructing a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: “Most bear encounters occur when hikers, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting surprise can be catastrophic.” To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. “Also,” he said further, “be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings.” One tourist asked, “How do you identify bear droppings?”

“Oh that’s easy,” the guide explained, “it’s the ones with all the tiny bells in them!”

A man sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says CRUISES - $100.

He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The travel agent whacks him over the head with a baseball bat and throws him in the river. Another man walking past a half hour later, sees the same sign and pays the guy $100. The travel agent whacks him too and throws him in the river. Now, the two men are floating down the river together. The first man asks, “Do you think they’ll serve any food on this cruise?”

The second man says, “I don’t think so. They didn’t do it last year.”

Printer friendly page  
Send this article to Friends by E-Mail