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Please, spare the time!
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Why do children become rebels or pick up undesirable ways?
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Photo: Shaju John
PRECIOUS MOMENTS They’re worth spending with your children
The need to perform well in academics, meeting parents' expectations (however unrealistic they may be), peer influence, temptations of the outside world_ youngsters face pressure from various fronts. To cope, a high IQ alone is not enough; a youngster needs to apply his EQ (emotional quotient) too so that he can to face the challenges without losing his mental balance.
Psychological
The increasing incidence of psychological disturbances (restlessness, insecurity, hostility and even perversity) among children and adolescents, is the fallout of a changing lifestyle, especially when both the parents are working (the `locked-door syndrome', according to the medical fraternity). With none around to give them attention, many youngsters are unable to give vent to their feelings. They become rebellious, even violent at times when it comes to registering their protest. Often, such behaviour is labelled as `outrageous' by over-anxious parents who at once contemplate unwarranted treatment without analysing the reasons themselves. And the reasons are often more than one _ excessive freedom, lavish habits, lack of adult supervision and peer pressure. Mobile phones and e-mail give youngsters privacy. And the Internet and television, their merits notwithstanding, are also among the easiest routes to deviant behaviour.
A lot of attention is paid by parents to the physical health of their children; teachers too lay more emphasis on academic excellence, ignoring other aspects such as behaviour and personality. The other day, I was pained to see a school boy refusing to spare a sip of water to a thirsty classmate. Where do we falter? Who will inculcate in them values such as tolerance, compassion and the joy of sharing? To spend time on such aspects of parenting/ teaching calls for will power on the part of parents and teachers. Giving costly gifts and gadgets, being liberal with pocket money and the like to make up for the lack of physical presence can only be a supplement to and not a substitute for parental love and attention. Like nurturing a tender sapling, the values of life have to be inculcated at an early age and with utmost patience and sensitivity.
Catch them young
`Catch them young' is the slogan now-a-days - be it studies, sports or extracurricular activities. Likewise with values. If they are instilled at home and school, it would help prevent psychological aberrations later. Earlier, in schools, moral instruction was part of the curriculum. These classes were a pleasant break from the more demanding maths or science classes! Sadly, this subject has been done away with in many schools, as more and more hours are earmarked for study and completion of the syllabus. Parents too should not stop with preaching but should be role models for their children to emulate. Elders have to be cautious about their behaviour in front of children. What can a child learn from an unscrupulous father or a spendthrift mother? If not brought up in a congenial atmosphere, adult counselling at a later date is often futile. That is why `sparing time' for children assumes significance. It is not enough for parents to spend quality time alone, they have to spare as much time as they can with their children, if they are going to mould them into emotionally balanced and responsible adults.
DR. B. ANUBALA
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Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Coimbatore
Delhi
Hyderabad
Kochi
Madurai
Mangalore
Puducherry
Tiruchirapalli
Thiruvananthapuram
Vijayawada
Visakhapatnam
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