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As we confront time
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The whole world seems to be geared towards putting ageing on hold. From clothes to the cosmetic industry, it is filled with perpetrators of the Yayati syndrome. Does looking good make the woman feel empowered? wonders AYESHA MATTHAN
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Photo: Reuters
THE INCURABLE LURE There are hundreds of potions and lotions on market shelves that promise you ageless beauty
She slaps age-defying cream on her face, neck and hands, rubs firming and toning solution on cellulite, streaks her greying hair blond, gets plastic surgery and botox done, pumps it at the gym and buys clothes from the latest designer boutique. The n
ew urban woman who is well past her 20s, could be in her 30s, 50s or 70s, is fashion-conscious and could have you guessing at her age. She could be married or single and working, a mother or grandmother – with a kid on one hip, bag on her shoulder and cell-phone in her palm – you really couldn’t tell.
When she is in her teens she prances around in spaghettis and figure hugging low-waist jeans, and after that? Does she completely change her wardrobe once she gets married and has children? Does she conform to society – draping and covering herself because she has the family’s honour to keep and cannot ‘flash her sexuality’ around the place. Does she get embarrassed about her extra weight post-pregnancy and menopause and asks for only pastel and sober shades? Or does she, influenced by media and the fashion industry, run to beauty parlours, gymnasiums and designers to look like how Demi Moore or Shobhaa De with their knee tucks and liposuction who fit into clothes that are a size 8? But there is another school of thought that some women think that there is nothing wrong in looking and feeling good no matter how old you are.
Designer Anu Nagappa feels that times are a changing. Her clients who age from 30 to 60 are dressing up more fashionably now. “Older women don’t wear teen clothes but definitely ask for classic designs and tend to tailor them rather than buy them from shops.” She continues, “What suits a teenager does not suit an older person as teenagers would ask for non-branded and low-priced clothes when it comes to shopping.” She feels that older women ask for matching fabrics, wear jeans, t-shirts and prefer bright colours only if they can carry it off. “They want to emphasise on their plus points and hide the others – so the clothes are designed in a particular way to suit their body type.”
Fifty-year-old Nerada Harendra loves bright colours. “If I buy clothes, they are from Anokhi because they have XL sizes.” Nerada gets her clothes tailored which are mostly long tunics, straight-cut trousers, skirts and tops. “I hate my body now but when I was younger I was quite daring. I don’t wear jeans because I am determined to lose weight and fit into my old ones! Now at the most I would wear a halter. But once you get fat, there shouldn’t be an unnecessary display of it unless you have a great figure.”
Nina Rao who is a 50-something old grandmother says she “tends to follow societal norms”. “I dress differently with my husband and in-laws and with friends.” But she says she “loves her wild colours” and is comfortable wearing capris and sleeveless and dresses and showing her navel. “I am in no hurry to get old,” she declares. But she finds that she tends to get her clothes designed as those in the market are not fit for the Indian figure. “I buy jeans and trousers abroad as they have larger sizes.”
Says 60-year-old grandmother Francina Farias felt she dressed better when she was younger. “When I got married, though I was still wearing jeans and sleeveless, I decided to sober down as I had to adjust.” When she lost her husband in her 30s, she started wearing white but got over that phase. She feels that though she wears only salwar kameez, she still loves bright colours. “I do feel you have to dress according to your age to be accepted and recognized. But it also depends on your levels of confidence to wear certain outfits.” Her 31-year-old daughter Claudeth Farias Fagg says: “It’s not practical for me to wear a salwar-kameez or sari and feed my kids – also I wouldn’t want to invite trouble on the streets wearing something daring with two kids with me.”
Manjunath M., a designer feels that older women are the first to keep up with trends as they have more money to spend. “They have no problems in experimenting with designs and don’t change their dressing-style – they update themselves on fashion and try to lose weight.”
Eighty-year-old great-grandmother Kallu Parmeshwar who wears pants and kurtis often feels she keeps herself abreast of fashion. “Though I do wear clothes that are suitable for my age, I think it’s nice to make the most of yourself at any age. It feels good to dress well. Yes, when I got married, only my husband supported me. But I wouldn’t display cleavage or wear shorts as I am not young anymore. Also, when I lost my husband and started wearing white, then somebody told me that by wearing white, men would jump at the opportunity and take advantage.”
Sociologist Sudha Sitharaman says: “Yes, there is cultural policing when it comes to women’s dressing as it depends on family honour and pride and that people keep a watch. But now, with the mushrooming of beauty parlours, there is pressure on all age-groups to look good and it is easier for the younger generation to adapt themselves to these demands.” But she feels that notions of one’s body and sexuality is a debateable issue for while on the one hand everything is judged by the “male gaze”, on the other feminists would argue about feeling empowered by looking good. “The question is how natural are you made to feel when you dress up.”
With fashion magazines screaming how you can look ten years younger, slimming clinics promising you to get rid off all those rolls and tyres, skin centres erasing wrinkles and lines, help is nigh to stay forever young.
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