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Oh! The teens
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S. Yamuna’s book looks at adolescence and its dilemmas
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Photo: Sandeep Saxena
Into the uncharted zone S. Yamuna in New Delhi
This is the age when children feel their parents don’t understand their needs, and parents, on the other hand, complain their kids no longer listen to them. Adolescence is often like a tug of war where both parents and children struggle to win
over the other. And irrespective of whoever wins, what takes a beating is their relationship.
In her 18-year-old career as a consultant paediatrician and adolescent physician, S. Yamuna has dealt with thousands of such cases. It is these experiences that prompted her to bring out a book that is an effective guide for parents, teachers and counsellors for better understanding of youngsters and their concern. Published by Wisdom Tree, “Nobody Understands Me” covers every teenage issue including career choice, sexuality, health, differences with parents, peer pressure and studies by elaborating on real life experiences, which is easier to relate to. “I realised that every material on adolescence is all based on western experiences. But actually, Indian children are different as we still have a traditional mindset. The expectation of an Indian parent from their children is different as well,” explains the Chennai-based doctor. “The ideas for the topics came mostly from what my clients must have said during the sessions. It gave me a clue about some teenage needs that are not being met,” she adds.
The author started her writing career through a monthly column in The Hindu. “It helped me reach out to the youth, who would contact me on dryamunapaed@yahoo.com with their problems. So when the publishers approached me with the idea for a book, I was confident I could do a good job,” acknowledges Yamuna, who was helped a great deal by her psychiatrist husbandto delve into the minds of the adolescent.
Predictable behaviour
Despite being a parent herself, the author is clearly in support of the adolescents. “It is no use blaming the youngsters or complaining that they don’t listen to you. Unlike what people say, the needs of adolescence are uniformly predictable. It is the adults who refuse to see it. Children see the world the way the adults project it.” At this point she cites an example, “There’s lot of uproar about teenage drunken driving but who is to be blamed here. The questions that need to be asked are – who taught them to drive at a young age, who gave them the car keys for the first time, who gave them tips on how to handle the police, who gave them access to alcohol and money. The answer is, adults. The change has to come from the mindset of parents, not the children.”
All these experiences have helped the medical doctor to handle her 13-year-old daughter better. “She often tells me I am wonderful to her,” she quips.
Yamuna may have just made her debut in the world of words but she is already working on two other books. “One is a self-help book for adolescence, while the other is about parenting a toddler.”
MANGALA RAMAMOORTHY
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