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Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”

The other replied, ‘Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

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When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.

But when a man who is married for ten years looks happy - we wonder why.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

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Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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