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A father agreed to baby-sit one night so that his wife could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the man kept sending him back to bed. At 9 p.m. the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbour, asking whether her son was there. The man brusquely replied, “No”. Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, “I’m here, Mom, but he won’t let me go home!”

A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shot back in. So the husband went back inside to chase it out. The wife, not wanting it to be known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, “He’s just gone upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.” A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, “Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!”

After Leslie brought home her fiancé to meet her parents, her father invited the young man into his study to find out more about him. “What are your plans?” he asked Joseph. “I’m a scholar of the Torah,” Joseph replied. “That’s admirable,” Leslie’s father said. “But what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter?” “I will study, and God will surely provide for us,” Joseph said. The father asked, “How will you support children?” “Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replied the fiancé. The conversation continued in much the same fashion. After the couple left, her mother asked her father what he found out. He said, “Well, he has no job and no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I’m God.”

(Source: The Internet)

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