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As the couple walks down the marital aisle they are more than aware of their roles and responsibilities. Today, hubby knows where the groceries are kept or when the laundry has to be done. He is willing to do the dishes while his pretty wife does her nails. So the kitchen is no longer the wife’s domain, it’s hubby’s too.

Though Mom may raise her eyebrows on seeing her blue-eyed boy with the broom, girls claim it is never too late to start, with maids becoming an endangered species. For working couple Sunil Shanker and Vinitha, whoever reaches home first after work starts cooking dinner, while the other finishes it! Vinitha says she never has to coax her husband to share housework, while Sunil sympathises, “She comes home just as tired, so I can understand her”.

Modern couples enjoy being in a world of their own and are not bothered about what others think about them. They prefer to go out by themselves or with friends rather than tag parents or relatives with them. Even when they get a holiday they may freak out with friends rather than visit the family. The generation of their parents constantly worry about what others would think or say, but today’s generation is usually each to his or her own.

Couples are willing to respect each other’s individuality and give each other space. The modern educated woman has strong personal opinions and expresses them blatantly. Anil and Radhika, advocates at the High Court of Kerala, consciously decided to work separately rather than make their office an extended home. Both are happy balancing their home and careers and have learnt not to impose their preferences on each other, though Anil jokes, “One has to if one has to live in peace rather than in pieces!”

With the boom in Information Technology, multinational companies are willing to give high pay packets. The wife who contributes to the family kitty demands the empowerment her income brings.

In case of marital discord she is willing to adjust to a limit, beyond which she would create a racket or walk out without a second thought. So, marriages hitting the rock due to incompatibility, is on the increase, contrary to the wives of the previous generation who compromised more because they were financially dependent on their husbands and were afraid of the social stigma attached to a separation.

Avers Umesh K. P, working for an MNC, “New age professionalism involves a hectic work schedule, with stiff competition and high stress levels. Though there is money to splurge, lack of time for recreation is one of the biggest hassles facing the corporate workforce today.” Erratic food habits due to lack of flexible timings as well as stringent deadlines make young professionals prone to hypertension ,and diabetes by the age of 30.

Marriage negotiator Meena Menon states that management professionals opting to marry non-career girls is increasing. Since they are highly paid, they do not want their wives to supplement the family income. Instead they want wives who can handle home affairs independently while they concentrate on their jobs. The educated girls disagree claiming that without a career one’s identity is lost.

Squabbles among couples are common. Emotions are at the peak and winning a verbal duel is more important than finding a solution to the problem. So they hit out where it hurts most. They squabble over the I-you-your syndrome in money matters, over relationship with in-laws, over roles, responsibilities as well as identities. They do not like to involve their parents in the issue and feel that confiding in relatives only blows the problem out of proportion. Sometimes friends help to solve issues and reduce a mountain, into a mole hill!

So couples making a new beginning in the New Year, remember that marriage is a saga of commitment, care and compromise. It involves giving as well as taking.

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