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Photo: Anu Pushkarna

WITH HER MENTOR Anu Peshawaria: ‘I meet eight to 10 such women in a month and that is a lot.’ Prakash Lal Peshawaria

Armed with all the pluses, an affable Anu, based in Fremont, California, was in New Delhi for the just-concluded Pravasi Bharatiya Divas.

Anu had come to speak on empowerment of NRI women and also, to launch The Immigrant’s Dream, a legal guide she has compiled for Asian women in America suffering abuse in matrimony. The book is half filled with true stories of marital abuse that she has come across through her organisation, USA-Seva Legal Aid Foundation, which provides free legal advice to the Indian Diaspora on matrimonial and immigration issues. The other half comprises American laws that can come to the defence of such persons. It also serves as a “warning” to those who “fall for the dollar bait” through NRI marriages.

“I meet eight to 10 such women in a month and that is a lot. Everyday, I dread meeting another woman who has been beaten, bruised, stripped of her dignity and rights,” says Anu. While most women are of Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi origin, some are from Fiji, Russia and Nigeria, married to Asians. “In many cases, the abuse is emotional,” she adds.

Handling her own stress after meeting such women is not easy, she says, adding: “I take it out by playing tennis at a local club everyday.” Tennis has taught her how to handle the lows and highs of life: “It is like scorecard rating.”

Anu knows that every victim needs to be given a patient hearing. “I can’t tell them, someone before you has come here with a similar story.”

Though her Foundation encourages women to report atrocities on them to the authorities, many cases, she says, go unreported. While continuous abuse strips some women of self-confidence to assert their rights despite being educated, many enter America illegally and are scared of deportation. Some cling on to their abusive marriages because there is a social stigma attached back home. Anu quotes a huge figure of deportation from America last year. “I heard it was 75 lakhs.”

Her Foundation organises workshops, in gurudwaras too, covering even remote areas with a high Indian immigrant population. “There I come across many cases of fake marriages,” she says, offering an instance, “Once a woman narrated to me that when she wanted to bring her sister to America, her husband suggested that the only way out is if he marries her, to which she agreed. Later, she found her husband asserting his conjugal rights over her sister.”

So Anu underlines, “It is important for such people to know that marriage is but one of 150 ways of getting a visa to America.” She agrees that there is ignorance about it, particularly in rural Punjab and Tamil Nadu, two States from where hail most of the victims she has come across so far.

“Many would-be brides are also asked to do some expensive computer course in India so that they can earn for the family in America. This is a new way of accepting dowry. Many parents fall for this demand by borrowing money to train their daughters.”

Flipping through the pages of the book, she points out safety measures like VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) which gives a woman instant work status in America, ways of getting interim relief, facilities like language access card, etc. “Many don’t know which form to fill and get a free attorney,” she states. She appeals for “a closer relationship with America and treaties between India and the U.K., U.S. and Canada” to take Indian family laws into reckoning.

Anu’s next step is to translate her book into different Indian languages “so that the vulnerable lot are benefited”.

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