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One giant leap Teens, especially boys, need unstructured, non-competitive play time to release pressure

Blaming it on a combination of factors, Dr. Bindu Hari, Director, The International School, Bangalore, feels parental guidance and interaction are vital for children especially during puberty and post-puberty as “there is a strong desire for acceptance and belonging during this period”. According to her, the lack of it induces them to resort to drastic measures to seek attention or vengeance.

Insisting that teens, especially boys, need unstructured, non-competitive play time to release pressure, she feels, repeated teasing can lead to build up of anger which can manifest as a violent reaction or a pre-meditated planned action. “The current norm of one-child nuclear families where the child’s needs are instantly gratified gives children a sense of entitlement. It fails to prepare the child to face denials, disappointments and how to resolve conflicts or confront humiliation,” she adds.

While stressing the need for parents to “listen and be present when their child needs them,” she feels it is time schools included anger management as part of their curriculum where the issue is addressed in a more serious manner. Says Amita Bala, parent and counsellor, “It is important for both schools and parents to listen to children and not just tell them what to do and not to do. Children tend to lean towards peers for advice when they perceive a situation where adults fail to listen and understand them.” While insisting on close monitoring of children’s behaviour and actions, she insists on parents allowing children to become responsible. “Independent and responsible decision making should be encouraged right at a young age with the right message given from the beginning.”

Says Dr. Ali Khwaja of Banjara Academy, “Communication is vital here. Invariably, with nuclear families, the support system is absent and when the child returns to an empty house, there is no outlet for his anger and resentment. This build up of emotions can turn destructive when unaddressed.”

Stressing the need for parents and school to discuss a child’s behaviour besides academic progress, he calls for workshops and discussions on life skills to be held by schools where parents also participate along with the children. “This would help students to address anger, disappointment, ridicule in a positive manner besides enabling parents to adopt the right approach to help and understand their children.”

Calling on the media to be more sensitive to the impact it can have on young impressionable minds, he adds: “It may not be practical to check the message of all avenues of entertainment but to counter balance their effect, there should also be a sizeable number of shows that create sensitivity and awareness.” Adds Bindu Hari, “While it is important for parents to keep weapons out of reach of children, there is an urgent need to address this issue seriously. Factors such as media, including television, for teens need to seriously re-look at the kind of message delivered, as this acts as a powerful influence on young minds. Violence portrayed in any form needs to be checked. For teens, it is a very thin line separating real from reel life.”

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