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TALK ABOUT IT Women believe that talking over problems will make one’s burden lighter

“A few of us from our pilates class were having coffee after our lesson,” she then continued, “when our instructor – I’ve met her just a couple of times in my entire life – told me that I was such a resilient person, that even if my husband were to die, I would easily bounce back and cheerfully go about my business! Whatever did she mean by this?”

“Was she,” she fumed, “by chance, implying that I’m just a great big, unfeeling, ever-grinning ape?” The rest of us present could only laugh in reply. Oh no! We didn’t find the image of our friend as an ever-grinning ape terribly amusing; rather, it was the fact that this was so typically woman – drawing a character sketch of somebody within five minutes of meeting them – something that most of us present had been guilty of at some point or the other, while men (and we have this from the horse’s mouth) mostly never do….

Men, it seems, wouldn’t care to conclude from somebody’s chipped fingernail that he/she was perhaps highly indifferent about appearances. They wouldn’t, apparently, bother inferring from somebody’s smile if he/she has had a happy/troubled childhood, just as they wouldn’t wonder whether a person they met in the pub has a deep/dark secret that’s possibly stifling their creativity.

Women, on the other hand, can and do, all this and more…

They can tell, within minutes, if the person is happily married (or not), if his/her boss is a pain in the region just below the lumbosacral spine, if they’re the sort that’s likely to be kind/kanjoos to the maid. “You know, I’ve had completely random women - women I’ve bumped into at a party, for instance - telling me things like I was such a warm, lively, giving person and that I must be a pleasure to live with. My husband, when I told him about this later, was very surprised, not to mention amused, and asked me how come he’s never met this warm, lively, giving person!” laughed Kareena Gautam, home maker (name changed on request).

Of course, we always knew, thanks to Freud, Jung and what’s-his-name that women are highly intuitive, empathetic, innately garrulous, and easily vouchsafe intimate details to complete strangers. But did you know that women also love to play therapist? That they can divine, just from a person’s ‘aura’, their core strengths, weaknesses, and appropriate areas of improvement? That they actually believe that talking over problems – any problems - will resolve it, or, at the very least, ‘make your burden lighter’?

Men, on the other hand, would be hard-pressed to tell if their associates were going completely mental; and even if they did, they would be, in most cases, too embarrassed to acknowledge it, much less invite them to cry on their shoulders! “I have spent enough years, studying and working in male dominated fields, and I’m yet to meet a guy who knows the words ‘aura’ and ‘inner warmth’, let alone use them!” says Savitri Sriram, business consultant.

Now, the next time you want your ‘aura’ analysed, or check how far your ‘inner warmth’ is radiating, forget trawling through the tomes of bespectacled, bearded psychiatrists…just walk up to a woman near you…and, within, five minutes, you’re sure to walk away beaming/scowling, depending, of course, on the verdict…

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