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One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were shocked by his rough appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents drew their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Honey”, said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.”

“Get real, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Two college friends met for coffee on a Saturday morning.

“How was your blind date?” one girl asked the other.

“Awful!” the other answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”

“Wow! That’s a very expensive classic car. What’s so bad about that?”

The disappointed college student replied, “He was the original owner.”

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female poodle. The dogs race over in an effort to be the first one to reach her, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she says, “The first one who can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”

The black Labrador speaks up quickly and says, “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish,” says the poodle. ‘That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”

Then the Golden Retriever says, “Let me try! Um...I hate liver and cheese!”

The poodle said, “That’s just as dumb! Now, how about you, little guy?”

The last of the three, tiny in stature, but big in fame and finesse, is the Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Labrador and says, “Liver alone. Cheese mine.”

Late one night, a young woman came home from a date, rather sad.

“Why the sad look?” asked the woman’s mother.

“Ricky proposed to me an hour ago,” the daughter responded.

“That’s great!” responded her mother. “Why do you look so sad?”

“Because he also told me he is an atheist,” she responded. “Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a Hell.”

The mother thought for a moment, then responded: “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him just how wrong he is.”

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