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A pilot made a really hard landing. Since the airline policy required him to stand at the door smiling and thanking the passengers as they disembarked, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, in case someone commented on his bad landing.

Finally, a little old lady walking with a cane asked, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?”

The little old lady continued, “Did we land or were we shot down?”

An absent-minded professor on board a train, was unable to find his ticket. The conductor, recognising the scientist, said, “I’m sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it.” “You’re very kind,” the professor said, “but I must find it, otherwise I won’t know where to get off.”

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