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“Yeah, Doc, what’s the news?” asked Sam when his doctor called with his test results. “I have some bad news and some really bad news,” said the doctor. “The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live.” “Oh my God,” gasped Fred as he dropped to his knees. “What could be worse news than that?” “ couldn’t get hold of you yesterday.”

“Do you mind if I sit down, ’cause I’m pregnant?” a woman said. I said in reply, “You don’t look it. How long have you been pregnant?” She said, “Only ten minutes - but doesn’t it make you feel tired?”

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