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So you are passing out?
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It is agony for parents too as they are put through the wringer along with their exam-struck kids
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End of the first paper. “How much do you think you will get?” A mumble in response, “Speak up, how much?” “Around 80”. Uh oh. This is not good. Smart moms everywhere know what ‘around’ actually means. I
t means the kid has absolutely no idea, but ‘around 80’ seems a respectable score to shut you up, for the time being. The other giveaway words (key words in exam-speak) to watch out for are ‘at least’, ‘most probably’, ‘it was okay’.
FAQs
If you are like me, then you will let it go. Not because I am broad minded, forward thinking and tolerant, but because I am chicken and rather not know. But, if you are like a dear friend, then this is what is probably happening. “Show me the question paper”. First question. I remember revising this with you. Have you answered the way I told you to?” Two words into her reply, the child knows by your expression that she has not.
And, so it goes, second question, third, fourth ‘a, b & c’… and the veins in your neck are standing up, you are flushing with rage, and your child has just revealed that she has been hopelessly misinformed about the crops in North India. By now, your hands should be itching to do bodily harm to your offspring. What went wrong? You have scrutinised and followed every column inch devoted to exam advice in the newspapers and magazines. You are seriously depleting your reserves of the Gulf almonds and, are killing yourself being kind to your kid. And, she repays you by not being able to tell the difference between cereals and pulses?
Health drinks (to improve memory, increase speed of writing and send kids on their way to a brilliant future) has only improved my kids’ ability to make up excuses. “It was out of syllabus”; “Sir did not teach us this”; “I was absent when this lesson was taught”; and, have you heard this one? “Someone has torn off the pages from my notebook where I have written the questions and answers to this lesson”. A personal favourite — “My text book is a duplicate one, and so some of the information in it might be wrong. That is not my fault”.
My daughter told me after Taare Zameen Pe that numbers and figures danced wildly when she looked at them, making it difficult for her to understand mathematical concepts. Ah! Math exams. A time for averted eyes, hushed voices and an always busy bathroom. My husband with colossal insensitivity asks her if she knows the difference between a diameter and a circumference. A frozen moment, and then, pandemonium. He is baffled, I am furious and she is hysterical. She was still sniffing when we dropped her off at school.
The way I am feeling, I would be delighted if she told me she was expecting “most probably, should be at least around 80”. Of course, there is no way of checking till the results are out.
And, that is another story entirely…in the meanwhile we have some more dragons to slay.
PANKAJA SRINIVASAN
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