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OUT OF TOUCH Even a momentary lapse of reason can result in disastrous consequences

Wife stabbed by husband following frequent quarrels!

Headlines such as these hit our newspapers with alarming frequency sending a shiver down one’s spine. Can ‘normal people “turn killers?”

Do some spouses have murderous instincts? Is there a way of finding out? What spurs a person to pull the trigger or use other household devices such as a sickle or a grindstone or knife to end a partner’s life?

Maintaining that there is no way of finding out Dr. Vijay Nagaswami, Psychiatrist, Author and Relationship Consultant says, “More murders are committed by apparently harmless people than one would want to believe. However it is certainly conceivable that a spouse abuser who has a problem with anger management could in a fit of anger and loss of control engage in an act of violence of such intensity that it has disastrous consequences.”

But what drives a spouse to do this?

Adds Dr. Nagaswami “Usually a momentary lapse of reason on account of loss of control over one’s impulses, pathological jealousy resulting from either real or imagined affairs that the partner is involved with, a severely humiliating loss of dignity or face that results in a “honour” killing.

Rarely a person who suffers from an Antisocial Personality Disorder may engage in pre-meditated violence resulting in murder .Of course murder for gain is always a possibility (for insurance, to get rid of the spouse to marry a paramour etc) but these are cold blooded , well planned and rarely is there a smoking gun.”

Prof. Dr. U. Gauthamadas, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist, Apollo Hospitals says, “Morbid jealousy also labelled the Othello syndrome (a condition in which a person experiences a range of irrational thoughts and emotions — the dominant theme being the partner’s sexual unfaithfulness based on unfounded evidence) way above all the other causes for murder by a spouse. Violence may occur in any relationship marred by jealousy. Morbid jealousy is however dangerous and is associated with increased risk of death when there is domestic violence as well.” In one study in the U.K. morbid jealousy accounted for 17 per cent of all cases of homicide and in 94 per cent of such cases the victim was the partner. Morbid jealousy usually occurs with mental illnesses or personality disorders.

Alcohol misuse has a recognised association with morbid jealousy and can exacerbate it. Morbidly jealous individuals may resort to suicide following violence directed towards the partner. A sense of inadequacy, sensitivity and insecurity may also be major predisposing factors in the development of morbid jealousy and such people make systematic distortions in perception.

Will marriage with a partner afflicted by the personality disorders discussed above work ? “Only if the individuals realise that they are sitting on a potential time bomb and need to take professional help to resolve their issues,” cautions Dr. Vijay Nagaswami

Would the average spouse resort to murder so easily?

“No,” says Dr. Vijay Nagaswami. According to him it requires a combination of extra ordinary circumstances, loss of impulse, control and the ready availability of a weapon.”

In what comes as a relief Dr. Gauthamadas explains that “The normally jealous individual (it’s a common, complex and normal emotion) will hesitate to pick up a knife and stab the partner even if the thought of doing so does occur.”

As for tell tale signs — the kind of behaviour that morbidly jealous spouses consumed by doubt are likely to indulge in could include “interrogation of the partner, repeated phone calls and surprise visits to the workplace, searching partner’s clothes, possessions, scrutinising diaries and personal correspondence, engaging private detectives or hiding recording equipment and trying to extract a confession. Denials of infidelity by the partner under suspicion or alternatively if plagued by the accusations he/she gives a false confession this provokes more violence.”

Wrapping up the discussion Dr. Gauthamadas says, “Morbid jealousy cannot be resolved by mere debate or counselling. It is an illness that requires treatment by a qualified psychiatrist with appropriate psycho-social therapy. With proper treatment even the marital problems can be ironed out. However usually the patient has little or no insight into the illness and most often refuses medication or treatment.

“In such cases it may not be advisable for the partner to live with the individual if domestic violence is already involved. Even after the separation the morbidly jealous partner may continue to intrude upon and stalk the victim maintaining a sense of entitlement to the partner and expect continuing fidelity. Children in such homes suffer physical and emotional abuse and may be employed by the morbidly jealous parent to spy on the partner.”

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