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SMS generation Texting is only one of the many ways by which parents these days are checking on their children

Texting children to check on them, their whereabouts and the friends they are hanging out with, is on the rise. Many parents around the city feel that it is the best way to keep an eye on their children. Afshan Karachiwala, a mother of two says, “Mobile phones are a blessing in disguise for parents who are worried about their children. I, personally am not against giving my teenagers privacy, but parents must know where to draw a line and that’s when they text their children to find out what they are doing.”

Her husband Shaheed is of the opinion that “Children do not like the idea of parents’ texting to keep a watch on them. Little do they realise that we are not their enemies and that we text them only because we are concerned about their well being.”

Why text when you can call? According to Dolly Sekar, another parent, “I respect my children’s privacy which is why I would rather text. I understand that they could be with their friends or at a party where it might be awkward to excuse themselves just to tell me what time I can expect them to return.” It is only when there is an emergency or when I haven’t received a reply to my message for a long time that I call to find out what they are up to.”

Most parents claim to have got into texting because of their children. While some teenagers actually took the trouble of teaching their parents how to send messages, other parents say that they learned on their own. With the gradual weakening of motor skills in middle age, some parents do complain that texting is rather complicated.

Texting is only one of the many ways in which parents checkon their children. There are also social networking websites such as Orkut and Facebook that provide parents with yet another forum to explore their child’s activities.

Charu Sanghvi, a teacher and mother of three teenage girls says: “It wasn’t like I was snooping around. I suspected one of my daughters was involved in a relationship with an older man. My daughter had received a testimonial from him which I thought was quite disturbing. Before confronting her, I went through the man’s album and found pictures of my daughter and him at some local pub. I had never seen her wear those skimpy clothes before. It was only after I had proof that I spoke to my daughter about it and made her cut off all ties with that man. All’s well that ends well thanks to social networking websites.”

How do today’s youngsters react to their parents’ so-called intrusiveness?

Arvind Theodore, an undergraduate student says, “Parental supervision is alright as long as parents know where to draw the line so that the child does not feel suffocated.Leena Kumar, another student, voices her opinion against parents who don’t give their teenagers their space. “Once a child realises that his parents are constantly keeping tabs on him, that too by checking his/her phone or reading his/her personal diary, the trust is broken forever. Parents who are obsessed with spying on their children must realise this and do other things, to impose parental supervision.”

“How one defines privacy and how much privacy a child must be allowed is a subjective issue,” says psychologist Shruthi Ahluwalia. She goes on to explain that “parents must be able to trust their children.”

“At the same time they should make their children understand that apart from being friends with them, their role as parents will never cease to exist. Ultimately parents must understand that youngsters are smarter than we think they are. If they find the door shut, they won’t hesitate to use the window to get out of the house. We must remember that children always have their own ways of getting what they want.”

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