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‘But I don’t want to’
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Gen-Next-ers are in no hurry to tie the knot. In fact, some of them do not mind giving marriage a pass
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Illustration: Satheesh Vellinezhi
To marry or not is not the big question. Not to marry is the answer for some Genext guys. Abhilash Pillai, 29, a software consultant, is a diehard bachelor for he feels he is just not tuned to nuptial settings. His parents are frantically trying to make him change his mind but he has pierced his ears and bares a tattooed body to be doubly sure that no girl would whisk him down the marital aisle! Flashing his multiple earrings, he brags, “No girl wants to be saddled with a freak, this look is an instant turn off.”
Where are the racing hearts and blushing cheeks of yesteryear? Have marriages become taboo? Well… It seems so. Gen-Nexters are quite content, living single…blowing up their whopping salaries and generally having a blast.
These young men believe that a jet set lifestyle combined with the work pressure (that inevitably accompanies the paycheques) would lead to a clash of egos in a marriage. Their uniform rant is, “We do not want to deal with cribbing or emotional blackmail when we return home from work. We have seen enough marriages breaking up and we do not want to take a risk.” Marital relationships today, follows the law of the jungle albeit with a difference. It is the survival of the emotionally fittest. The person with a higher emotional quotient overpowers the partner in all decisions. Ultimately compromise is the only way out. For these youngsters this is too much of a chance to take. The tirades against girls continue, tears are the most feared. And then there is talk of loss of freedom and scepticism about being able to retain their individuality after their marriage.
Old age?
Have they thought about a sick, lonely old age? “We may team up with some geriatric home. It is better than spending most of your life adjusting, expecting your spouse to nurse you when you are sick. On the other hand you may have to take care of her.”
Others prefer to cross the bridge when they come to it. The anti-marriage brigade remarks flippantly “Since we enjoy life to the hilt we are pretty sure our wonky lifestyle would make us kick the bucket even before we turn sixty!”
What do the girls have to say? They feel it is better to remain single than be saddled with a guy with whom they cannot vibe.
“Why should we get married because society expects us to? We would rather excel in our careers than tie the knot when the first proposal comes our way.”
Girls are practical and admit that it is difficult to find Mr. Right, since he does not exist anyway, they may settle for Mr. Almost Right. Bharthi Menon, a senior executive says, “Marriage is a gamble, like every gamble it has its risks. One has to be careful before taking the plunge for there is no use crying over spilt milk.” While Asha, a chartered accountant, says “A girl just out of college is too naïve to face the challenges of married life. She should think of marriage after she mellows in life through economic independence.” Career girls today refuse to succumb to parental pressure for they feel that since it is their life they have a right to take decisions and make their own choices.
An unmarried career woman of the previous generation was sympathised with, today; she commands respect that she has achieved without a man’s name tagging along with hers.
Girls are ready to rough it out in the big bad world and they really do not need the proverbial ‘knight in shining armour’. hey are willing to settle down only on their terms, if they can find an understanding spouse.
Other wise, they feel life is better reaching the pinnacle of their careers and having a whale of a time with friends.
And since today is good, why fret about old age.
ROSHNI MOHAN
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