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Moms coming of age
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Several mums have had enough of being matronly. They are fanatical about looking trendy, smart and presentable
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PHOTO: Mohammad Yousuf
From Frayed to fabulous Be a yummy mummy
“Quick, tell me, how old do I look in this?” I ask, as always, hoping for a tidy little number. “Hmm, about 35 going on 40” comes the indifferent reply. “Sob, what if I wear my hair differently? Now?” I persist. “Oh mamma, just come along now, it’s not your birthday, it’s my friend who’s turning nine!” says the by-then exasperated daughter. “But, wail, I look fat in this skirt! Shouldn’t I change into something more slimming?” I venture, only to be over-ruled by the family. Violently…
This exchange, let me assure you, is no figment of my imagination; it happens, all the time. And it’s not just me… several mums confessed to be worried, fanatical even, about pretty much the same things — looking trendy, smart and presentable. (Psst…— actually, we mums want to look downright gorgeous and as un-mummy-like as possible, but we’re hardly going to own up to that, are we?)
“I distinctly remember when my mum was 35… she wasn’t half as groomed as she is today, wore her hair in a braid and wouldn’t so much as dream of jhumkis, which were then considered wholly inappropriate for a middle-aged mum; there were simply so many strictures! But now, just as long as we don’t nick our teenaged daughter’s abbreviated outfits, everybody is happy!” laughs Srilakshmi, mum of a 12-year-old girl.
We don’t quite know when, but somewhere in the evolutionary history of mankind, mums decided they had had enough of being “matronly” (which is just a kind way of saying “you are no longer eligible to look sexy”) and decided to effect the transformation. From “slovenly-mummy” to what is now commonly known as “yummy-mummy”. From women who were happy to sit around, greying gracefully, growing pleasingly plump, to those that coveted low-rise white-jeans (in realistically biggish sizes), fancy lingerie and fabulous make-up. “When I was growing up, mums were just cuddly, big, soft teddy bears; now, while not every-mum is a fashionista, quite a few religiously hit the gym long before they wean the baby; many dress with great confidence, a confidence that stems from getting comfortable with your curves, extra pounds et al,” says Constance, mum of 2.
From frayed to fabulous…The transition is, however, not always quite so smooth, so simple. For one, there’s the squalling bundle to factor in; then, of course, there are all those wobbly bits that have somehow gotten a foothold in impossible-to-eliminate spots (thighs, tummy, etc) tempting you to spend the rest-of-your-life wearing a large, roomy sack; plus, and this is a big plus, there’s this whole attitude business — when half the world and their siblings are busy telling you “now that you’re a mum, you need not bother”.
As if, the moment you pop out a baby, life, as you know it, should simply cease to exist… Small wonder eh, that aspiring yummy-mummies are often sufficiently overwhelmed, and contemplate embracing an atavistic lifestyle — being a jhumki-less, jeans-less, cosmetics-free mamma…
Do’s and don’ts
And its precisely to help along such mammas that we thought we should compile a list of must-do’s and please-don’ts; a quick reference, if you will, that will serve them when they have nobody in the whole, wide, cruel world to turn to….
Do not feel pleased when somebody compliments you that you’re not bad looking for a mum. They’re just being downright patronising…
Do not weep when all the kids (which is basically anybody under 18 years of age) call you “aunty”, though you’re barely a few years older yourself.
Do, please, give a damn about appearances. You may feel absolutely shabby, stout and sleep-deprived, but do try and get your act together… at the very least, a good-looking reflection does wonders for the self-esteem!
Do find yourself a hairstylist who will tell you that its perfectly normal to have grey-hair (“it’s only de-pigmented a bit you know”), hold you by the shoulder, look you in the eye and tell you what a lovely woman you are….
Do, do, find yourself a seamstress, preferably one who was a sculptor in his/her previous life; one who believes that under all that flesh is a shape that’s waiting to be discovered…
Do not ever, under no circumstance, ask the husband if the erm.., derriere, looks big in the new jeans… You’re not dying to hear the truth, are you?
APARNA KARTHIKEYAN
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