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METRO ESSAY

Is it okay to take liberties?

Why do we cross the proverbial line of conduct? It is potentially treacherous ground that I’m treading here, much like the subject at hand.

For, who am I to comment on something that we, as all-too fallible mortals, struggle with in our moments of weakness?

Who hasn’t had a ‘bad day’ where we find it difficult not to lash out at a co-worker whose only crime was to be positioned in unfortunate proximity?

To comment on words or deeds that invite our attention but not our opinion. To plough morally ambiguous ground where we glean the racy facts of a situation without putting them in context or understanding the circumstances.

Why do we have a tendency to form skewed opinions, often hurting the sentiments of others and opening the floodgates of social and professional complications?

Indeed, how do we define propriety in conduct in a multi-cultural, economically diverse society such as India? Throw in the fact that every human being has a unique password to his/her perception of life, and we realise the problem stems from the fact that we all define acceptable behaviour differently.

Clearly, to completely eliminate transgressions, verbal, physical or emotional, would empirically prove to be impossible. However, we can try to minimise its scourge, and the first step would be to identify the root cause.

For a start, we are all spawns of that wily creature, Motivation. We are, thus, motivated to indulge ourselves, when there is a disparity between the facts and fiction of the relationship we share with the inflicted party.

We care less when we aren’t as genuine a partaker of the relationship as we may like to be, and, as a result, end up being more indiscrete.

We are also minions to Routine. Habits die hard and if we have incorporated aspects of the jaded into our lives, it’s hard to not give into indiscretions borne in its wake. Gossiping is easy, isn’t it?

I would also not like to deny Ignorance her place at the transgressions table; sometimes we are just plain uneducated on matters and this intimidates us.

Insecurity hampers our perception of things and people, leading to errors in judgment. I was watching a TV show last night, and a character made an interesting observation to her bete noir: “You seem so comfortable with yourself that it makes me uncomfortable with myself.”

In the end though, I would like to reserve the head of the table for whom you may consider the most unlikely guest to this discussion: Laziness.

We talk indiscreetly about people we don’t know because we haven’t put in the effort to get to know them.

We don’t change negative habits because we are too lazy to put in the effort. We don’t question blindly accepted societal beliefs because we haven’t invested the energy to think.

Laziness sits at the head of this particular table for she is the maternal root to all othervagaries that festoon the world of over-indulgent behaviour.

Sure, we all have different compasses for ethics and morals, but the majority of trite transgressions would be done away with if we simply put in the effort. By all means, we should indulge in humorous office banter and harmless gossip with friends and family — life would be dull if we restricted our normal and individualistic responses to the ebb and flow of life.

Life would be mechanical if we didn’t speak our minds, but the next time we feel the need to express a view on say, a particularly annoying cousin or an infuriating co-worker, let’s earn the right to make that comment known.

For, there can’t be anything wrong in putting a little effort in qualifying our comments and actions, can there? This would spare feelings, protect privacies and minimise miscommunication. Lets stop being lazy.

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