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The solution lies within you

You would have now got some answers you were looking for all your lives or you were hoping you would get some day. Either way, you are here now. Let us figure it out.

Who am I?

You have understood the various roles you play and you have prioritised them. Good. Take one role at a time and examine it closely.

Hypothetically, let’s examine the role of a mother. Yes we all love playing moms because we feel so needed and so wanted. Sacrifices are to be made for our children.

There is so much joy in it. The difference is if any of these compromises or sacrifices makes you unhappy or frustrated, think again.

Are you overdoing your bit? Ending up in fights, unpleasant situations, anger, and frustration? Do some serious introspection. Why have you reached this stage?

It’s because you are not a happy and contented person. Something I always believe in is, if you are not completely happy you cannot make anyone happy. If you do not love yourself, you cannot love anyone else.

When we have so much confusion and despair inside us, it manifests as anger, depression, negativity and so many emotions that we experience every other hour.

And the saddest outcome is, we make others pay the price for something they are not responsible for, mostly our children. They are the silent victims with no escape or options. Do they have to change? Or do we have to change?

Your guess is as good as mine! We have to change. Why don’t we start with responsible motherhood?

How do we do this?

Figure out what exactly makes you feel this way. Negative, sad, fluctuation of extreme moods?

You have found the answer. Let’s again hypothetically say, the main cause is your mother-in-law who stays with you and makes your life miserable. I agree. There are mothers-in-law like this too.

Now think about it logically- all said and done, she is your husband’s mother and they come as a package deal. Do you have an option or a say in her place of stay? No. So she stays with you.

Here you have two options- a) To accept the situation, make the best of it, learn to deal with your responses and reactions (you can’t expect her to change now) and move on in life.

b) or you can grumble, yell, scream, fight and tire yourself out (and everyone in the house) and make the situation worse and unbearable for everyone.

The choice is yours.

This way, examine all the roles you play in life- the more important it is, the more you have to balance them, ensuring everyone gets the best out of it.

All you have to do is understand the dynamics and make minor but crucial changes that make YOU happy!

The journey is still on, albeit a little bumpy!

(The writer is an image consultant and can be contacted at babita@persona24carats.com )

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