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Salt and pepper

Photo: B. Velankanni Raj

Fitness is the key Old age is the age to be free and happy

There are one million senior citizens in the city and they have a helpline: 1253. Dial and “Senior citizens could seek police protection, counselling, legal assistance, get their taxes paid, get their cinema tickets, pet care and the likes…” would be taken care of. Oh really! Dial the number and a friendly voice greets you asking for the language of your choice ‘Telugulo samacharam gurunchi…’ The message is canned, there is no one who picks up the phone, on the odd occasion, you might even reach the core message in American accent. Flummoxed? This is one more step undertaken by the government to help elders that has stumbled.

But then, government has rarely been part of a social solution. Left to their own devices, the economics of growing old are changing at a breathtaking pace. These can be seen in the rise of luxurious walled communities of elders with owned houses, guaranteed medicare, nursing support and financial freedom that’s changing the wait for the inevitable.

So, is it bliss to live in an old age home with every physical need taken care of?

“Mostly yes. When the wounds inflicted by the family are raw or when the freedom to be is new everything is delightful, the walk in the traffic-free paths, the recognition of familiar faces, the domestic stories and even the TV remote in the palm give a sense of power. But it doesn’t last. Memories play tricks and after a point folks miss their families. The annual or bi-annual get-togethers become huge affairs psychologically and create depression that hangs like a cloud over the head once the visit is over,” says an ex-resident of an old age home. “All the sad stories and ailments that people exchange become part of your life and spoil the mood. People become despondent and age faster,” she says.

However, in urban areas like Hyderabad and Vizag the availability of nursing support at home has proved to be a ray of home for elders and their children. Now, if money is not a problem, the queasiness and inability to handle the needs of elders need not come in the way of having elders at home.

But, the chemistry changes at home.

The most interesting aspect of Ramayana is Lakshmana’s wife Urmila letting her husband go with his brother to the forest. No modern wife or mother will allow that to happen, leave alone going to the forest, she will not allow him to go to his brother’s or mothers-in-law home. The same holds true for men. And the mother of the boy wants to remain that all her life without becoming mother-in-law and keeping the daughter-in-law out of the family portrait. Unless this rigidity changes into a compromise, the family bliss will remain ephemeral.

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