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HOW TO ...
Be on Page 3
Plan next month’s outfits as soon as you wake up. The world might have problems, but this is way more critical. Then, block-book appointments at the spa for head-to-toe treatments.
On D-day don’t work, you might break your nails, or (gasp!) end up with dark circles. Skip office. After all being a Page 3 is an occupation by itself. (It keeps you occupied, doesn’t it?)
At the party: Schmooze. Air kiss. Flatter. Networking is essential. Remember, you have to get invited to the other parties. ’See and be seen’, is the new mantra.
It’s a cardinal sin to not refer to fellow party goers as “Darling!” (pronounced as daH-lin in an appropriately languid, slightly nasal, marginally bored tone). Enthusiasm is for amateurs.
Get yourself into the society pages of newspapers and magazines. Even if it means furtively handing the photographer a crisp note / drink. But when somebody comments on seeing your picture in the paper, shrug tiredly, roll your eyes and sigh, “Paparazzi!”
Repeating outfits is a catastrophe. Remember how you snorted at the other chick when she repeated her purple corset. The poor darling was mortified and of course, friendless till she turned up at the next do in Fendi.
Become an ace at the deconstructing game where you ruthlessly trash other people’s outfits. “Where does she think she’s going in that hideous yellow! Ugh! Looks like the sun pooped on her!”
PRIYADARSHINI PAITANDY
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